Monthly Archives: May 2018

That’s for the birds (literally)

I was reading this story on seagulls when I was reminded of my own seagull experience.

I am landlocked for the most part. You can go to upstate Indiana and get to a few beaches there, but I live in the dead center of Indiana.

A group I belonged to in high school (Shout out to Upward Bound!) took us to an amusement park. I forget where at this point, could have been Cedar Point. We get there, and they hand us our lunch, which are ham sandwiches.

I hate ham.

I see a little bird (which I now know was a seagull), and toss him pieces of my bread. He gets closer so I toss him more. Then another bird comes, and another bird comes, and one brazen ass bird comes and yanks the sandwich out of my hand. At this point I notice there are like 12 birds. I start screaming and running like a maniac, while my friend groups, chaperones, and people milling about are staring at me like I’m crazy. Because I resemble the bird lady from Mary Poppins.

 

Eventually security show up, chasing the birds off with the car. Brazen ass bird has flown away with my entire sandwich.

I am older and wiser now. I don’t mess with any birds, and I will go pure ninja warrior on a seagull.

Support This Kickstarter: “How To Draw Black People”

You're probably thinking one of three things:

  • "Whatever, I'm in"
  • "What in the fresh Hell?"
  • "I already know how to draw black people. Source: Am Black"

Cool, cool. So let me break down why you should back this Kickstarter by tearing down all of your excuses.

"Whatever, I'm in"

Great! Wow, that didn't take much convincing. Go to this link and donate. We really want Malikali's goal to be reached by May 31st. Dang, you rock. You get a sticker (seriously, prove to us that you backed it before May 31st and we will send you a free podcast sticker).

"What in the fresh Hell?"

Well, that's an interesting way to say, "Tell me more, Quinzel" So I'll do it.

Listen, Black Panther is taking off and Black and Brown folks are about to be all over your TV. screens. As an artist, you may want to include PoC in your art and if you are conscious about how your characters are portrayed, you want to draw them accurately. Enter, "How to Draw Black People"

Malikali Shabazz is an artist based out of Los Angeles, California that penned the idea of “How to Draw Black People" "The unwritten idea, but tangible logic, that "if you can draw a white person you can draw anyone" just won't cut it anymore." Shabazz says in his Kickstarter bio. And he's right. If you want to have diverse characters, you need to understand their features. And there are some features that are common to each race.

I hear you in the back, guy in the back screaming "We are all the same." Yes deary, so tell me, can I walk into Fantastic Sams and get a retwist done on my dreadlocks? No, didn't think so*.

"Audiences are asking for diversity and authentic characters based on real cultures. The teachings we have now are woefully out of date and never touch on ways to depict more than what lies on the surface." Malikali says.

This isn't your normal "How To" book. It teaches facial features, hairstyles, and so much more. If you're an artist, you need this for your art studyin'.

"I already know how to draw black people. Source: Am Black"

Ok, and while that is a very credible source, I'm gonna still need you to back this Kickstarter. It can still help you if you are an artist. For example, I'm a black female with dreads; I live with this day in and day out. I know every curl, every turn, and every grey hair that I just slip back in there. But if someone asked me to draw someone with a fade, well, I'd be kinda screwed.

And even if you know the ins and outs of every black feature and hairstyle (maybe you're a cosmetologist? I don't know) it's still great to support one of your own who is trying to put out a very important and beneficial piece of work.

So, now that you're out of excuses, get on over to back this Kickstarter toot sweet! We only have until May 31st!

 

*I s2g if you tell me Fantastic Sams twists dreadlocks I will literally fight your lying ass

 

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Jake & Amy

Last night finally gave Brooklyn Nine-Nine fans the event they’d been waiting for since season one: the wedding of Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta. The Peraltiago wedding was basically a given ever since it was revealed that Amy and Jake had a competition going to see who could make the most felony arrests. If television sitcoms have taught us anything it’s that opposites attract, and as soon as they revealed that the laid-back, immature Jake had a crush on the uptight Amy it seemed that here we had our classic will-they-or-won’t-they couple.

On the face of it their relationship shouldn’t have been particularly interesting- we’ve been watching two people who are constantly bickering fall in love for ages, long before Ross and Rachel or even Sam and Diane. But what sets Jake and Amy’s relationship apart and makes it so refreshing is that in this case, opposites do more than just attract. In a classic Sam-and-Diane relationship you have two people with opposite temperaments caught in a situation where the other person’s basic personality drives them insane, but that just makes them want to go to Bone Town even more. In watching those relationships I've always felt that eventually the lust would fade, and all that would be left would be the character traits they despise in each other. In the case of Jake and Amy, you have two people with opposite temperaments who actually fall in love with the traits that make the other person so different from them. Jake appreciates Amy’s attention to detail and finds her constant list-making adorable, just as Amy loves Jake for his breezy personality and dorky jokes. Jake and Amy don’t spend their time bickering and fighting because they are busy supporting each other. They are best friends.

In one of the episodes leading up to the wedding Amy presents Jake with a huge binder of tasks to complete in a specific amount of time. In almost every other classic sitcom relationship this would be met with eye-rolls, frustration, and possibly some sort of wacky scheme to get out of doing the work. Instead Jake immediately leaps into action and ropes in Terry to help, terrified of failing what he sees as a personal test of his worth as a partner. Jake is frequently described as immature, but immaturity for Jake is simply a personality quirk and a defense mechanism. At his core, Jake is a grown-ass man and more importantly, a good man. That's what makes his character's childlike personality endearing instead of insufferable. His only thought is to not let Amy down, and it’s not just about proving himself- it’s about his determination to never disappoint the woman he feels so lucky to be marrying. He vocalizes all of this to Terry, and also tells him he looks up to him as an example of what a husband should be. This is yet another thing that we never see on television- two straight leading men discussing relationships, fears, insecurities, and what makes a good partner. If we got anything close to this in another sitcom they would be sure to make it awkward, then have them save face after by saying something hyper-masculine, or that stupid thing of starting to hug then replacing it with a handshake and vague grunts. But blessedly that is not the world of the Nine-Nine, a world in which a conversation between two men about their feelings can happen without the writers having to make it a joke by no-homo-ing it up.

On the day of the wedding when Amy starts to melt down because some details have gone wrong, Jake doesn’t dismiss her feelings or tell her it’s not a big deal. If something is a big deal to her, it is a big deal to him. When he sees her start to freak out he immediately starts worrying FOR her so that she doesn’t have to. When met with this reaction Amy is able to actually calm down. She knows she’s being heard and that her concerns are being addressed, and that gives her the space to take a breath and trust that she has a partner to help her deal with things. When the stress makes her crave a cigarette Jake pulls out the nicotine patches he brought, because he knows her and he came prepared. He lifts the burden of responsibility from someone who has felt like she is responsible for everything her entire life. He might not always succeed in fixing everything perfectly, but it’s never from lack of trying.

 

From the start of the episode it felt strange to me that they were having the wedding in the rec center but I couldn’t put my finger on why. It wasn’t because it wasn’t nice enough but I couldn’t figure out what felt off, until it was revealed where the wedding would end up having to take place. Of course it had to be at the Nine-Nine, where it all began. Relocated due to a bomb threat (oh yeah- there was an actual plot with a bomb and everything, maybe I should have included it but it didn’t really feel like the point), at the end Amy walked down an aisle decorated with shredded documents instead of flowers, which was much prettier than it sounds, and Raymond Holt officiated an intimate ceremony attended by the only family that has ever really mattered on the show. Their actual blood families were nowhere to be seen having gone home after the first cancelled ceremony, and it was barely noticeable. Boyle is an emotional mess most of the episode but in the end pulls off the last-minute ceremony for his best friend, Amy has a beautiful white dress to wear courtesy of the fact that Gina had planned on wearing it to the original wedding, and Hitchcock and Scully remain true to their characters by unexpectedly coming through in the end with the task Jake gave them at the start of the day just to get rid of them. Rosa gets to meet someone new (more Gina Rodriguez in season 6 please!) and Terry helps talk her into opening herself up to the possibility of love again. Holt trains his dog Cheddar to be a last-minute ring-bearer before he takes his eyes off him long enough for Cheddar to demolish Jake and Amy’s Nakatomi Plaza wedding cake, but then Holt comes through by getting the bomb-detecting robot that Jake was obsessed with to do the job instead. Everyone plays their part in a way that is funny and also true to their character. Holt tells the couple he loves them both, and also informs them he has moved their honeymoon vacation requests from ‘pending’ to ‘approved’.

Jakes vows are mature and beautiful, but when Amy closes hers by stealing a line Jake joked about putting in his vows when the bomb threat came in and which Amy begged him not to include (“Amy, there was a bomb at this wedding. Ya butt. Your butt is The Bomb.”) Jake loses it and says through tears “I love you so much. You’re my dream girl.” Because Amy actually loved the joke. Of course she did.

I Had PPD So Bad, I Didn’t Even Want To See Black Panther

Yeah girl, it was that bad.

In December I had my first very own geeky baby. I wasn’t due until the end of January, but as it were Geeky Baby was ready to enter.

I won't go into the details of the birth, just imagine I was a first-time mom saying "what?" and "holy fuck" a lot.

But I had some bottles purchased, had some onesies and sleepers laid out and a good stock of diapers. I was prepared.

What I was not prepared for was Postpartum Depression.

On the cusp of the Black Panther premiere, I went from enthusiastically talking about this movie for months to feeling like nothing, not even Black Panther, could give me joy.

When most people think of postpartum depression, they recall some pretty awful news stories that I can't bear to repeat. Even the doctor asks you in a dry tone, "have you had thoughts of harming your child?"

Oh? No. I like GB. It was me I didn't like. Since what I had only known about postpartum was from the media, I didn't think I had it because my feelings weren't toward GB, they were toward me.

I felt hopeless. I felt inadequate. I cried for 4 hours a day. I felt like I was the most awful person and couldn't tell you why I thought that but the feeling was strong. I couldn't eat but I just chalked it up to the nausea.

It wasn't until my husband took notice that I was able to get what I needed.

He kinda got a head start. GB was a preemie and spent a few weeks in the NICU, so the nurses pulled him aside and gave him some signs to watch out for. He comforted me and he took the time to make sure I ate. But when he asked me about buying tickets to Black Panther and I just shrugged, he knew something was really wrong.

So why am I telling you this story? Because as Geeky Girls, we know the things we love and give us joy. Mental illness tries to take that away from us. But if we can stay ahead and know when it’s coming, we can win this fight.

Still, I wasn't enthused about leaving the house. I really did not want to go.

So, I'm gonna offer a bit of advice for anyone struggling with any type of depression: Go Anyway.

After leaving the movie theater, I not only had to thank my husband for pushing me to go, but my best friend who paid for my movie tickets and babysat just so I could go. And she isn't even a big comic fan, she just knew it was important to me.

I walked out refreshed and ready to face the day. It would still take time to see a large improvement in my PPD (I'm doing much better now) but that small thing really made a huge leap in my recovery.

So again. Leave your house. Do it. Don't abandon the things you love. It doesn't resolve it completely, but damn it helps.

So, I'd like to know if any of you have dealt with depression, postpartum or otherwise. Leave a comment and tell me about your coping mechanisms, your support people, and your "aha" moments

If you know someone having issues with postpartum depression, here are some helpful links:

http://www.1800ppdmoms.org/

www.postpartum.net

 

Why You Should Absolutely Live the way Kid Fury Does

If you don't know who Kid Fury is, you need to stop what you're doing right now and listen to The Read Podcast. Kid Fury is not only a certified geek, he is also someone who takes no shit. And, dammit, we should all be like him.

There's a segment in the podcast known as Listener Letters where people write in to get advice, usually on their relationship. While Kid Fury's tried and true advice is to "break up with him" you can't help but know that he's right. Every. Single. Time.

And he's not even just saying that to be funny, you can tell that he adheres to the advice that he gives. Don't waste time with someone who won't treat you right, don't care what people think of you, and for the love of Pete, stand up for yourself!

So now that you know why you should live your life this way

Get a Dog
Ok but seriously, Kid Fury has this cute little dog named Link and she even has her own Instagram. The guys you date may be crappy, but dogs are awesome

Get in Therapy
I love a person who is an advocate for therapy. Because you can't get to a place where you don't have time to deal with fuckboys if you don't first take a look inside of yourself. He openly admits that he goes to therapy and you can tell that his self reflection pays off. After all, he wouldn't continue pursing a relationship with a man that outright refuses to wipe his butt because its "not manly" (yes, that was a real Listener Letter)

Get A Hustle
He often talks about how before The Read, he worked long hours at his day job and then pursued the things he loved at night. Look where he is now.

Find your hustle, even if you can't do it full time now. Start small

Get some prayer
Kid Fury is very religious and connected to God. Even though I myself ran from the church kicking and screaming, I can really appreciate his belief system and apply it to myself. Because the universe is always looking out for you.

Geeky Girl Self Care: Love Yourself by…Loving Yourself (Yes I’m Talking About Masturbation)

Editor here: This isn't a kiddie entry, so you may want to get prying eyes away from the screen. Also, we were not sponsored for this review, nor were we given any sex toys. Though none of us would turn them down amirite?!

 

Here's the thing. We all know self care is important. And I'll be frank, you always know the best way to get yourself off. So have no shame in lighting some candles, turning on some music, and making yourself feel good.

Now, for some of us Geeky Girls, the world of sex toys can be overwhelming, and a little racist at that. Not gonna lie, its kinda weird to see the Fat Chocolate Cock dildo with Realistic Black Balls and not feel a little odd about it.

So, whats a geeky girl to do to get her groove on. Luckily, I stole my internet browser's innocence so you didnt have to.

I came across Geeky Sex Toys and honestly, I just thought it was one of those products that were available for cheesy puns and giggles, but actually the materials used to create the toys are of the highest quality.

They have toys for all kinks and all fandoms. Actually the latest line is based on the Avenger: Infinity War movie. There's toys for anal play, strapping on, and yes, an Incredible Hulk dildo that is just as girthy as it is punny.

So yeah, for some good old fashioned self care, take care of yourself and head over to Geeky Sex Toys.

Did you see anything that you want to buy? What do you think of their products? Leave us a comment and tell us if you notice the Iron Man butt plug lights up (yes, girl, yes).

Entering From Stage Left, Guest Writer Quinzel Lee Takes The Stage

Leslie here. I would like to introduce you to my buddy Quinzel Lee. She is here to fill your life with nerdy weirdness. I love her. You should too. Take it away Quinzel!

 

Hi there, I’m Quinzel Lee, ready to rock your mix-matched socks off with some geekery. I also enjoy romantic dinners and long walks to the bank.

The ladies of Geeky Girls Guide to Life have allowed me to drop in from time to time as a guest writer. They felt it was best that I warn you about what you’re getting into.

A little about me, I currently write for DontHateTheGeek.Com with geeky news, reviews, and op eds. However, if you want me to be a little more…me…stay tuned for my guest articles here. You can also catch me on the Twitter-verse @quinzelee . Give me a shout, a hashtag, or even just a hashbrown from McDonalds, I'm not picky

What kind of music do I like? All. Yes, my answer is all. Yes, including country. Yes, also including rap. Do you need a definition of all?

My current obsessions include Jessica Jones, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Read podcast, and analyzing every bit of pop culture. I love coming across weird statistics like how many pounds of catfish do people in America consume daily on average (seriously, I want to know). I listen to Sword and Scale podcast, which I DO NOT recommend if you sleep alone. And my Snuggie is prepped and ready for a Hulu or Netflix marathon at any moment.

Did you follow all that? See why I needed to warn you? So look out for content from me, Quinzel Lee. I can guarantee that it will be a wang dang doodle of a good time.