CW: NSFW content including talks of masturbation and female anatomy. I also say the f-word because, well, I felt it was f#cking appropriate considering the subject manner
Geeky Sex Toys was kind enough to send me the toy in exchange for an honest review. In short, they were like, "masturbate with our product and talk about it openly and honestly." You can see why I couldn't turn that down.
I'm going to be straightforward for a second.
Sex is healthy. Masturbation is healthy. Neither is gross or shameful.
Now that you are fully aware of my thoughts beforehand, you'll understand how un-shy (new word, I'm calling it) I am when it comes to sex toys.
But g e e k y sex toys?? You have my complete attention.
One look around the Geeky Sex Toys site and it will have you geeking out from head to...yeah, that too. Emma and Josh, founders of Geeky Sex Toys are in Brisbane, Austraila. They create, design, and make all of their toys BY HAND.
This duo of sex toy makers are no strangers to fandoms either. With a clever use of puns, they've got lines such as Doctor Screw (Doctor Who) DickPool (Deadpool) Orgasms of the Galaxy (Guardians of the Galaxy) and The Indulgers (The Avengers)
In that first Facebook post, I showed you guys a censored version of what I got. Well, now you're gonna see it.
Ladies and Gents, I give you, the Dildek
The Dildek is, obviously, from the Doctor Screw collection. Modeled after the famous Daleks, I promise you it won't kill you. This one comes in two colors: black and gold. And it comes in 2 sizes: large and small. The one I received and pictured above is a small
Foreplay and First Impressions
Upon opening the box, I was quite impressed. Their handiwork is pretty amazing honestly!
You know how you might see a toy at a bachelorette party that seems really cool, but actually seeing it you realize its just plastic crap? With something as cool as Doctor Who, I expected it might be lacking in quality and using the fandom to make up for it
I was proven wrong right on the spot.
So now that I know that it LOOKS good, my next thought is to see how long it would stay that way. I felt like it was time to put this thing through a series of non-masturbation tests. These tests were mainly me throwing it as far as I could across the room, shaking it as hard as I could, and smacking it upside a couple different surfaces in my home.
The most awesome thing I discovered while playing around with the durability of this toy is that the bottom is actually a suction so that you can ride it, no partner needed. I tested this by slapping it on my kitchen floor and kicking it a little with my foot to see if it would stay. It did.
I also noticed with all this shaking and throwing that it did not create any tears in the silicone. Damn, this amazing grade of silicone! Damn, this amazing craftmanship! It's really hanging in there!
Now that I have hazed the shit out of it, it's time to get down to business.
Fuck and Fuckability by Quinzel Austen
(Sorry, Jane Austen)
After being quite impressed with how well it handled several stress tests (ok, I was mainly having fun) I needed to know about the Dildek's level of fuckability because...well, that's the whole reason I bought it, right?
As I stated earlier in the review the Dildek comes in two sizes, large and small. While there's no shame in having dildos that are Hulk-sized, I was a bit intimidated by a large, so I requested a small.
Now, small does not mean slim. When I saw the size of this toy, I was *still* intimidated. Like all of that needs to go in...all of me? So if you are into slimmer sex toys, lube up.
Also, if you have small hands like me, you may benefit from a small instead of a large. It was only a slight challenge to hold on to. The bumpy texture definitely assists with having a good grip, even with lube applied. However, closer to the end is a wider base, so a little difficult to get a real good grip in. But, as an alternative, there is an option to use the base on a flat surface and ride, hands-free.
Size aside, this silicone feels great. I'd say it's skin-like, but I don't know if I've ever felt skin this good. It's perfectly smooth enough to move outside and inside of a vagina that makes you kind of forget that you're masturbating with a fandom toy
Another nice thing about the Dildek is the bumpy textures. If you can get it just right, it makes great for clitoral stimulation. For me, it was easier to achieve by hand than by riding, since the bumps are closer to the bottom of the base.
The biggest challenge with the Dildek? Trying to stop making Doctor Who references during sex, but maybe you do this anyway *guilty*
Would I Recommend?
The quality of this toy is beyond impressive. It's durable, flexible, and downright cute.
I will level with you and tell you that Geeky Sex Toys will cost you a pretty penny, but they are so worth the money.
10/10 would recommend you save up your coin and buy from them
10/10 would cum again 😉
Have any of you bought anything from Geeky Sex Toys? What did you think? Does this review make you want to buy from them? Have any questions for me? Drop a comment below and I'll answer!
Editor here: This isn't a kiddie entry, so you may want to get prying eyes away from the screen. Also, we were not sponsored for this review, nor were we given any sex toys. Though none of us would turn them down amirite?!
Here's the thing. We all know self care is important. And I'll be frank, you always know the best way to get yourself off. So have no shame in lighting some candles, turning on some music, and making yourself feel good.
Now, for some of us Geeky Girls, the world of sex toys can be overwhelming, and a little racist at that. Not gonna lie, its kinda weird to see the Fat Chocolate Cock dildo with Realistic Black Balls and not feel a little odd about it.
So, whats a geeky girl to do to get her groove on. Luckily, I stole my internet browser's innocence so you didnt have to.
I came across Geeky Sex Toys and honestly, I just thought it was one of those products that were available for cheesy puns and giggles, but actually the materials used to create the toys are of the highest quality.
They have toys for all kinks and all fandoms. Actually the latest line is based on the Avenger: Infinity War movie. There's toys for anal play, strapping on, and yes, an Incredible Hulk dildo that is just as girthy as it is punny.
So yeah, for some good old fashioned self care, take care of yourself and head over to Geeky Sex Toys.
Did you see anything that you want to buy? What do you think of their products? Leave us a comment and tell us if you notice the Iron Man butt plug lights up (yes, girl, yes).
Leslie here. I would like to introduce you to my buddy Quinzel Lee. She is here to fill your life with nerdy weirdness. I love her. You should too. Take it away Quinzel!
Hi there, I’m Quinzel Lee, ready to rock your mix-matched socks off with some geekery. I also enjoy romantic dinners and long walks to the bank.
The ladies of Geeky Girls Guide to Life have allowed me to drop in from time to time as a guest writer. They felt it was best that I warn you about what you’re getting into.
A little about me, I currently write for DontHateTheGeek.Com with geeky news, reviews, and op eds. However, if you want me to be a little more…me…stay tuned for my guest articles here. You can also catch me on the Twitter-verse @quinzelee . Give me a shout, a hashtag, or even just a hashbrown from McDonalds, I'm not picky
What kind of music do I like? All. Yes, my answer is all. Yes, including country. Yes, also including rap. Do you need a definition of all?
My current obsessions include Jessica Jones, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Read podcast, and analyzing every bit of pop culture. I love coming across weird statistics like how many pounds of catfish do people in America consume daily on average (seriously, I want to know). I listen to Sword and Scale podcast, which I DO NOT recommend if you sleep alone. And my Snuggie is prepped and ready for a Hulu or Netflix marathon at any moment.
Did you follow all that? See why I needed to warn you? So look out for content from me, Quinzel Lee. I can guarantee that it will be a wang dang doodle of a good time.
2017. What can you say about it? In 2016 we saw the death of huge icons, of people we have admired for years. 2017 continued the theme of death. Not of people per se, but of ideals. People that we thought were kind, courageous, and brave ended up being total trash heaps. Our country is in the middle of one of the biggest dumpster fires I have ever seen. That is what 2017 meant to me.
2018 is here and it is full of the optimism, hope, and joy we once wished 2017 would hold for us. Please let that be true. I am not sure I can handle too many more dumpster fires.
It is a new year. It is the same old me. I don’t believe in resolutions. I never keep them. I am however working on being a better person. Here is the list of things I plan on doing for the new year (But I had also been working on them in 2017 as well)
If 2017 was a dumpster fire, my brain is part of the trash heap that had lighter fluid sprayed liberally upon it. I am an organizational nightmare. I worked on this a lot by obtaining a paper planner and started to use that. I did not use it as well as I could have and that is what I want to work on this year. I actually have two planners this year. One for my job, and one for my personal life. Maybe if I organize a little bit better I could have the time and energy to do the things I want to do when I have down time. It might make it easier for me to craft more or organize more activities for geeky baby. To see some of the fun creative stuff I have been doing with my planner, don’t forget to check us out on Instagram.
2) Werqin on my fitness
2017 saw me change my eating habits a lot. I eat (most of the time) like I have some damn sense. I drink more water than I do diet soda. Though I do still enjoy an icy cold Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper. I make somewhat of an attempt to bring a healthy lunch and snacks to work that work well with a diabetic.
I am the most sedentary person you will ever meet in your life. Like I am a total slug. It amazes my husband that he can find me in one spot and 5 hours later I will be in that same spot huddled up with a blanket on doing absolutely nothing. He doesn’t understand it at all. I feel like if I exercised more, maybe I would get some energy back? Isn’t that how it is supposed to work? We shall see. I found some free videos on YouTube and will be using those to start. If I feel like it is something I could go gung ho on, I may get a gym membership.
3) Do Your Homework!
I have been talking about this one or a while. My goal this year is to do every single bit of homework Nerdette assigns throughout the year. You may be asking yourself “Why in the hell would she want to do homework?” In addition to being a nerd, I am an absolute geek. I live for homework. Plus, I have done several of the homework assignments from Nerdette, and I always come away with some knowledge, or at least a good book recommendation.
So yes. These are the major things I have in store for 2018. Do you have anything that you want to grow or develop? Did you have a great 2017? Let us know!