CW: NSFW content including talks of masturbation and female anatomy. I also say the f-word because, well, I felt it was f#cking appropriate considering the subject manner
Geeky Sex Toys was kind enough to send me the toy in exchange for an honest review. In short, they were like, "masturbate with our product and talk about it openly and honestly." You can see why I couldn't turn that down.
I'm going to be straightforward for a second.
Sex is healthy. Masturbation is healthy. Neither is gross or shameful.
Now that you are fully aware of my thoughts beforehand, you'll understand how un-shy (new word, I'm calling it) I am when it comes to sex toys.
But g e e k y sex toys?? You have my complete attention.
One look around the Geeky Sex Toys site and it will have you geeking out from head to...yeah, that too. Emma and Josh, founders of Geeky Sex Toys are in Brisbane, Austraila. They create, design, and make all of their toys BY HAND.
This duo of sex toy makers are no strangers to fandoms either. With a clever use of puns, they've got lines such as Doctor Screw (Doctor Who) DickPool (Deadpool) Orgasms of the Galaxy (Guardians of the Galaxy) and The Indulgers (The Avengers)
In that first Facebook post, I showed you guys a censored version of what I got. Well, now you're gonna see it.
Ladies and Gents, I give you, the Dildek
The Dildek is, obviously, from the Doctor Screw collection. Modeled after the famous Daleks, I promise you it won't kill you. This one comes in two colors: black and gold. And it comes in 2 sizes: large and small. The one I received and pictured above is a small
Foreplay and First Impressions
Upon opening the box, I was quite impressed. Their handiwork is pretty amazing honestly!
You know how you might see a toy at a bachelorette party that seems really cool, but actually seeing it you realize its just plastic crap? With something as cool as Doctor Who, I expected it might be lacking in quality and using the fandom to make up for it
I was proven wrong right on the spot.
So now that I know that it LOOKS good, my next thought is to see how long it would stay that way. I felt like it was time to put this thing through a series of non-masturbation tests. These tests were mainly me throwing it as far as I could across the room, shaking it as hard as I could, and smacking it upside a couple different surfaces in my home.
The most awesome thing I discovered while playing around with the durability of this toy is that the bottom is actually a suction so that you can ride it, no partner needed. I tested this by slapping it on my kitchen floor and kicking it a little with my foot to see if it would stay. It did.
I also noticed with all this shaking and throwing that it did not create any tears in the silicone. Damn, this amazing grade of silicone! Damn, this amazing craftmanship! It's really hanging in there!
Now that I have hazed the shit out of it, it's time to get down to business.
Fuck and Fuckability by Quinzel Austen
(Sorry, Jane Austen)
After being quite impressed with how well it handled several stress tests (ok, I was mainly having fun) I needed to know about the Dildek's level of fuckability because...well, that's the whole reason I bought it, right?
As I stated earlier in the review the Dildek comes in two sizes, large and small. While there's no shame in having dildos that are Hulk-sized, I was a bit intimidated by a large, so I requested a small.
Now, small does not mean slim. When I saw the size of this toy, I was *still* intimidated. Like all of that needs to go in...all of me? So if you are into slimmer sex toys, lube up.
Also, if you have small hands like me, you may benefit from a small instead of a large. It was only a slight challenge to hold on to. The bumpy texture definitely assists with having a good grip, even with lube applied. However, closer to the end is a wider base, so a little difficult to get a real good grip in. But, as an alternative, there is an option to use the base on a flat surface and ride, hands-free.
Size aside, this silicone feels great. I'd say it's skin-like, but I don't know if I've ever felt skin this good. It's perfectly smooth enough to move outside and inside of a vagina that makes you kind of forget that you're masturbating with a fandom toy
Another nice thing about the Dildek is the bumpy textures. If you can get it just right, it makes great for clitoral stimulation. For me, it was easier to achieve by hand than by riding, since the bumps are closer to the bottom of the base.
The biggest challenge with the Dildek? Trying to stop making Doctor Who references during sex, but maybe you do this anyway *guilty*
Would I Recommend?
The quality of this toy is beyond impressive. It's durable, flexible, and downright cute.
I will level with you and tell you that Geeky Sex Toys will cost you a pretty penny, but they are so worth the money.
10/10 would recommend you save up your coin and buy from them
10/10 would cum again 😉
Have any of you bought anything from Geeky Sex Toys? What did you think? Does this review make you want to buy from them? Have any questions for me? Drop a comment below and I'll answer!
You will have more fun in Star Wars: The Last Jedi than you knew was humanly possible. There are scenes so striking, innovative, and flat out magical that you will nearly fall out of your seat. You will gape. You will cheer. You just might cry.
Megafans will debate for years about character arcs, continuity, and whether porgs are adorable or nah. But what cannot be denied is that The Last Jedi is visually stunning, massively entertaining, and almost never takes the predictable route.
This crop of Star Wars movies has the unenviable task of pulling off the near impossible: honor the past while creating the future. Change is hard. Launching the next generation of heroes and making space for them is crucial, but honoring the deep love that fans have for the original heroes is equally as important. The Last Jedi did both.
Our beloved heroes, Luke and Leia, are still leading the rebellion and bringing hope to the galaxy. They still know how to pull victory from the jaws of defeat. Our iconic villain, Darth Vader, still casts a looming shadow even in his absence. Yet it is clear that the power of the force is not owned by anyone or anything. The Jedi religion is not shackled to any physical place. Good and evil are choices, not destiny, and we all get to make choices, no matter our family tree.
The Last Jedi also succeeds making the Star Wars universe more nuanced and complex, even while delivering crowd-pleasing scene after crowd-pleasing scene. In The Last Jedi, heroes can make mistakes. Legends can have crises of faith. Things that are shiny can be grotesque upon closer inspection. And the girl who fixes the pipes can have a hero inside of her you just haven’t met yet.
The plotlines are equally innovative. There are numerous times I thought I knew what was coming, and The Last Jedi surprised me.
A forty year old franchise that can still surprise you is pulling off something special.
At its heart, Star Wars is an epic, timeless story. Truly valuable stories are living, breathing things that we pass down to our children and grandchildren. When we hoard them and encase them in carbonite, they become more suited for museum display. The surprises and innovations of The Last Jedi ensured that Star Wars is a story that will inspire generations to come.
Still dubious? Stand in my sensible-yet-attractive middle-aged pumps for a second. Let’s go on a journey to 1999. Picture being an overjoyed young adult camping out for a Star Wars prequel--the first in fifteen years. Imagine squeezing into a movie theater with breathless anticipation. The projector turns on and The Phantom Menace appears on the screen. Imagine a void where the soul and charm of Star Wars was supposed to be. Picture acting so wooden you want to feel something but you just don’t. Then you see Jar-Jar Binks. Yikes. What you are picturing is the experience of being fed an aggressively mediocre sci-fi movie dressed in a Star Wars suit. If you didn’t experience that, count your blessings.
I was born the year before Star Wars premiered. I have lived long enough to see great Star Wars movies being made again. These movies have introduced wildly endearing new heroes like Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose. They are movies packed with talented people acting their asses off, and with chemistry that sparks off of the screen.
You don’t even have to imagine that last part. Just go see The Last Jedi, and experience it for yourself.
I am the primary cook in our house. This is not a throw back to a time before feminism. When I have time, I enjoy cooking. A lot. It soothes me. There is also something very cool about taking a bunch of ingredients and turning them into something delicious.
I first heard of Blue Apron from a Facebook friend. A mutual friend of hers gave her a few weeks free from them. I happened to be on Twitter that day and Blue Apron was having a deal for a week of meals. I went ahead and purchased them. What could it hurt?
I specified to receive my box on Friday. I am off on Friday's and didn't have much to do that day. They informed me it would come at anytime between 8a-8p on that day.
When I got back from my hair appointment (*flips hair*) It was sitting in the shade near the garage. So I picked it up and brought it in.
I opened the box and was impressed by the number of cooling agents that they had in there. Even if I had been a really long time, nothing was really going to suffer.
I chose a box with two servings of each meal. There is just me and my husband. We do not need a whole lot of food. Each meal comes with all of the things needed to make the amount of food you ordered and a recipe card that has colorful pictures.
The first recipe I decided to make was the Pan-Fried Orange Shrimp with Sauteed Scallions and Bok Choy over Jasmine Rice.
I pulled everything out that the recipe required and began my prep work on all of them.
The instructions were super easy to follow and had a picture for pretty much every step.
Everything turned out delicious. I did have a boatload of dishes to wash after, but that was only because I was being fancy and instead of piling prepped items on the chopping board like I normally do, I presented it in bowls.
So, Blue Apron Pros and Cons:
Not super expensive. It is about what we would pay for groceries for a week.
Easy well written instructions.
Everything is in the kit for use.
You don't get stuck in a food rut and this will give you a jump off point to actually mess around with the recipes if you so choose.
While we would spend this on groceries for a week, there are no snacks, and no leftovers for us, because I chose the two meal plan.
My cooking ambitions come in spurts. I may not want to cook three meals a week and that is the lowest you can get.
The way everything is packaged, it seems as if there is a lot of waste. I don't put all of my veggies that I purchase at the store in plastic bags, but this box does.
You may end up with some things you absolutely do not like. I hate beets, and my second week box included beets and beet pasta. *Gag*
Would I purchase this again? It honestly depends. I have to be in a mood to cook, and these are not fast meals to prepare. On a lark, I had my husband prepare the meatball sub one. He hates cooking, but I came home from work and just kind of did a *wall slide* and wasn't moving. He started cooking as soon as I got home at 7pm, and it took until 8pm for everything to be ready. We honestly do not have that kind of time. During the week our food needs to be quick. With all of the fresh vegetables in the recipes, the food will not hold for longer than a week. By the time we got to the meatball subs, it was the end of the week and the cucumber for the salad was rotted.
If you give Blue Apron a try, let me know, I would love to know your thoughts!
I purchased two weeks worth of Blue Apron with my own doubloons. No one is sponsoring this post. Except me.
Yes, I am channeling Bryan Adams, so what?
I am stuck in the 90s. This is a known fact to my family and friends. When I found out the Theme song to Portlandia included the lyrics “The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland,” I started looking for jobs and a house in Portland. They are my peeps!
Sadly though, I never made it to Portland, though I plan on visiting someday. My husband keeps asking me “Why on earth do you want to visit Portland?” I just scream “THE DREAM OF THE 90s IS THERE, DO YOU NEED ANY OTHER REASON!?” He goes back to his computer and rolls his eyes. Hater.
As part of my 90s loving, I tend to listen to a lot of music from my teenagedom/young adulthood. A lot of Nsync, and R&B, back when it was great. All of my music is on my phone, and nowadays, ear buds come standard with phones. Here is a little secret. I can’t stand ear buds. No offence to them, but my ear holes are tiny or something, and they just fall out. My husband, noticing my sad predicament got me some bigger headphones. While I do love these things, I can’t really wear them in the office. Could you imagine me looking like this showing up to fix your computer?
Plus I spend roughly 80% of my day on the phone. So no, headphones would not work.
My husband to the rescue again.
While this thing may look like a Pokeball (which is what I call it), It is in fact a Bluetooth speaker by DBest of London.
This little thing is great. It fits in the palm of my hand, so it is unobtrusive. I sit it on my desk, hear a little *blorp* noise, and know my phone is connected. I am enjoying tunes and podcasts all day with this thing. It charges by USB, so If I am worried that it is going to die, I charge it the night before I go to work. This thing has a lot of battery power however. The most I used it without charging was two weeks straight for 8 hour days.
It does have it’s drawbacks. If I pause whatever I am listening to, leave the range of the speaker, and then come back, it does not automatically connect. I either have to turn it off and turn it back on or turn off the Bluetooth on my phone and turn it back on. It also have little crevices that are hard to keep clean. I am not the tidiest person in the world (read: Messy Marvin), but I do take a Q-tip around it every once in a while.
It comes with it’s own little velvet pouch (LIKE A MINI CROWN ROYAL BAG Y’ALL!) and a USB/audio plug in adapter, just in case you don’t want to use the Bluetooth. I keep the adapter in the pouch along with the speaker when not in use and stick it in my purse. It takes up hardly any space. I love the fact that I can take it anywhere.
I loved it and raved about it so much that my husband asked for one for Christmas, and ended up getting a non Bluetooth one on accident. Oops. He’s still quite pleased with it.
So, tell me, what little gadget do you rave about to people? Is it something I would like?
**This is totally not a paid advertisement. DBest of London has no clue who I am. If they did I may fan girl out, and they would pelt me with speakers to make me go away. This was a gift from my husband. WE share the same bank account, so you know, I paid for it too. There you go FTC.**