K Leslie

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I watched the Monsta X ‘Fantasia X’ Film, and now I have questions.

I am going to start the entry out by saying I rarely use the N word. Like ever. However, I am pretty sure I uttered it 10 times in two minutes and 58 seconds.

If you are like me, you have already preordered their newest comback album which is set to release next month. This video was part of a scheduled release. I watched it and because I get confused with time travel, I have some questions. Here we go.

  • Why is there always crime and time travel?
  • Where the hell are we in the space time continuum?
  • Why is Shownu so damn fine?
The things I would do to (and for) this man.
  • This isn't a question, but Joohoney's voice hits in the beginning
  • Why did that man let Changkyun snatch up his paper? If a grown man came to me and snatched my news paper, we'd be fighting.
I think everyone is still. Is this another clue?
  • Judging by the hair in 90% of this clip, most of this is pre Fantasia. Like, they stole keys to get to the fantasy world? Or is this after Fantasia, they lived out their fantasy and everything went to shit after? Are they just trying to get back to happiness?
  • Minhyuk would risk it all for Joohoney and you cannot tell me a single word different.
I am going to be 100% honest with you when I tell you I'd risk it all for any of them. Ask my husband.
  • My dudes, where did y'all find flip phones?
  • Also, where the hell did you find a pay phone!?
  • Why is Joohoney either always trying to 'Hack the Gibson' (If you don't understand that, you may be young) or thieving shit? Which goes back to my first bullet point.
  • It looked like when he twirled the key ring on his finger that he only took one set of keys, but he gave Shownu one, and he gave Hyungwon one. I don't know anything anymore.

So this is where I stand on it. I've watched it three times today, and will probably watch it again when I have a moment. What did you get from the video? Are you looking forward to Fatal Love? Also did you realize immediately that on the preview of Fatal Love, that is Minhyuk's mouth? If we realized it instantly, does that mean we have a problem?

Feel Better When I am Dancing

Hey you. I'm writing a fan fiction. A Kpop fan fiction. A Black girl Kpop fan fiction. You will periodically see posts like this that show the picture collages that I have made. I'll also put the first chapter here.

Chapter 1

In the heart of downtown Indianapolis lies the Stutz building. An old car company was once headquartered there. Today, numerous businesses reside there, including EK Dance.

The E in EK, Elyse Jones has been going viral on YouTube for dance tutorials and dances she does to different styles of music. From Hip hop, interpretive, and even ballet, her follower count has been steadily rising over the years. She’s on speed dial for multiple artists to consult as a choreographer. At the age of 23 she has competed in several world wide competitions and has placed 1st in multiple categories. She just won ‘Best Dancer’ at the 2016 Shorty awards. That is how Monsta X has come to be in the Stutz building. Not much is known about her private life. For all that she lives in front of the camera, she has managed to keep her life a mystery. People knows she has a twin sister, but not much else. The more people try to pry into her life, the harder it is to get information. In her spare time, Elyse has a Twitch channel where she plays different styles of games and interacts with her followers. Earlier in the year, she signed a lucrative contract with Starship Entertainment to work with Monsta X on new choreography for their 2017 album. The group has never worked with a women choreographer. Shownu, the leader, usually takes point on their choreography, and is slightly perturbed that he will not be giving input on this particular album.

As they walk into the part of the building that holds her office. They are greeted by a receptionist with a perky ponytail.

“Good morning, welcome to EK studios. You must be Monsta X,” she glanced behind the 7 men and her eyes widened as she saw a whole crew of people. “Oh dear, I am not sure Elyse was expecting….an entourage.”

The young woman stood up and smiled. “You are a bit early and her afternoon class is just finishing up. You can sit out here or there is a door,” she pointed to a door off to the side of her desk, that houses a two way mirror. “You won’t really learn anything, it is her kinder class, but you can get a look at her and what she’s teaching.”

Wonho and Shownu got up to go see this mysterious teacher while the ones staying behind were offered refreshments.

As part of their coming to the US, Monsta X’s management team wanted to get a fresh perspective on choreography. While K-Pop groups have traveled to the states before, they wanted the very best for this group of boys. They were a gold mine, they just had to invest properly.

In the room sat a couch and a couple of chairs, all framing a floor to ceiling window. Wonho plopped on the couch while Shownu stood and stared through the glass. They saw a woman, lithe and short; her dark brown locs were piled into a messy bun on top of her head. Her sepia skin glowed with sweat as she walked through 12 small bodies, correcting their ballet forms when needed. All of a sudden classical music began to play. “1 and 2 and 3,” the woman counted down. All of a sudden the bodies started to move in sync, performing basic ballet moves.

Shownu snorted “What is she going to teach us that we haven’t already learned. She’s a child's instructor.”

“Eh, give her a chance,” said Wonho. “You’ve seen the girl for 30 seconds.”

Shownu sat on the couch with Wonho and watched as the pre-schoolers went through their poses.

“Alright, we are done for the day! We have time for one more silly dance! What is it going to be?” The girl looked at her students expectantly.

A shriek rang out across the room “BIEEBERRRRRR!!!!” one of the little girls came running up to her teacher. The teacher laughed as she put the song on. “Every week guys, we gotta try something different for next week, okay?

Everyone agreed as the song started up. “HIT YOUR POSES!” The woman hollered.

All of a sudden 12 little girls struck poses similar to the video and began to dance as best as they could. In the back of the classroom off to the side the teacher began to do the actual dances from the “Sorry” music video.

“Would you look at that ,” Wonho breathed. The woman hit every single beat drop as the little girls danced madly around her. As the song ended they all came together for a group hug.

“Who are we?!” the instructor shouted.

“The Dancing Lilies!” came the reply

“Why do we dance?”

“Because we love it!”

“Who do we dance for!?”

“Ourselves!”

“Alright guys. I will see you next week, okay? Class is dismissed and no running in the halls, other groups could be practicing.” The girls walked out to their waiting parents.

The teacher squinted in the corner and looked straight into the mirror. “I don’t know if there are parents in there, but I just dismissed class for the day, you can come out.” She called.

She sat down on the floor with a pair of slippers and began to remove her ballet shoes and the mass of padding wound around her toes. Wonho and Shownu looked at each other baffled.

“They told us she couldn’t see us through the mirror?” Shownu said. Wonho shrugged and headed to the door opposite of where they came in.

“Hello!” he said cheerfully. The girl turned around startled at hearing a male voice.

“Oh hey! You guys must be my new group! I am Elyse,” She stared behind Shownu. “I was told there were 7?”

“Oh the rest of them are up front waiting,” said Wonho. “I’ll go get them.”

Elyse smiled “Please take your time. I have to change.” Wonho smiled and left the room and left Shownu behind. “If you’ll excuse me, I won’t be but a second.” She said to him.

Shownu stared at her like he’d never seen another woman before. He’d seen some of her videos but hadn’t paid much attention. Elyse was incredibly short. She had dark brown almond shaped eyes and a tiny rose gold stud in her wide nose. She had a slight smile on her full lips and when she talked he could see a gap in her front teeth. Shownu nodded curtly and sat in a corner and began to stretch. Elyse shrugged and grabbed her bag.

Walking into the bathroom, she tied her hair up a bit tighter as she felt it falling during her kinder practice. Shedding her ballet shoes, leotard and tights, she donned black leggings and a black sports bra. Over the sports bra was a simple white oversized racerback tank. She tied it in the back, took a deep breath and stared into the mirror. She finally had her shot. Teach these boys, earn the check, and possibly get the recognition as a dancer. She’d no longer have to program. She could focus on the things she loved. At the rate she was going, she should have had people knocking down her door. Even though she had the accolades and awards, some still felt she didn’t fit. Too brown, too short, too much.

“Here goes nothing,” she breathed into the mirror.

She walked back to the room which was an absolute zoo. The 7 group members were going through simple dancer stretches. There were handlers and helpers for the handlers. There were cameramen and cords everywhere. The noise level was 100.

“AYYYY,” Elyse hollered. “If you are not a dancer and do not plan on working on choreography, there is a room off to the side of this one. Please go there.”

Protests in both English and Korean went up. Since she could not speak Korean she turned to the English protests first.

“I understand they have a camera in their face 24/7. I get that you want shots of them learning, and we can get that for you by and by, but we are just meeting. This room is small, and I don’t want the distractions. If I had known you were bringing everyone and their mama, I would have reserved the larger room. I’ll make it a point from now on.”

She then turned to the Korean protests. “Mia, can you come here please?”

A Korean woman came over and stood by Elyse. Though not much taller than Elyse, their height differential made it seem like she was towering over the young dancer. Mia answered the call Elyse put out for a Korean translator a few months ago. She quickly became friends with both Elyse and her sister. Another surprising benefit for the sisters was Mia’s mother, who was the sweetest woman any of them had met.

“Thank you sweets. Can you translate for me?”

The loudest man started going off at a rapid clip. Once he was done Mia turned to Elyse “You want the word for word, or the gist of what he’s saying?”

“Gist please, we ain’t got time for all that.” One of the boys snickered at what she said. She looked back and smiled. Mia went on.

“He said it isn’t proper for you to be in here with just them.”

“For the love of…” Elyse rolled her eyes. “Mia, translate exactly what I am going to say, I want to make it clear.”

Mia smirked. She had been hired roughly 3 months ago. Elyse thought it best that they get to know one another and that she fully understood her cadence, how she spoke, and her snark. Elyse looked at the balding man who was concerned for somebody’s virtue. Whose, she had no clue. She cleared her throat.
“This is a dance studio, not a prostitution ring. I signed a non-fraternization contract. The clause in that states that I have to give back all the money and I can and will be blacklisted in the K-Pop dance community if I am found acting in an inappropriate manner with anyone in the group. In this studio, while working with me, what I say goes. There’s not going to be a gangbang anytime soon.” At the term gangbang the man turned a sickly shade of puce. Elyse heard soft cackles from the 7 stretching.

“If you are concerned for...their virtue, my virtue, whoever’s virtue, that room I just sent everyone to? Is behind that mirror. You can see us, we can’t see you.” She then turned her back to him because she was done with him. Though he cut her check, she wasn’t there to cater to his whims.

She looked at the seven men she was supposed to be working with; they were stretching haphazardly and the one that had stared at her earlier was not doing his calf muscles justice with the stretch. He was also looking at her confused.

“Hi. I am Elyse. I don’t know what you know about me, so I will run down the basics that make me qualified to be here. Most people think I was chosen because of my viral videos and my awards, but that’s what made people take notice,” Elyse spoke at a quick clip. She knew Mia knew this speech and could translate it in her sleep. “The foundation of all of that? I hold a Masters degree in Dance Performance. I also hold a Bachelors in Computer Science. I’ll be your instructor.

Elyse looks to see if everyone is understanding. She glances back at the exec. He’s calmed down and listening carefully to the speech being given. Before we get your introductions out of the way, do you have any questions for me? I apologize, I do not speak Korean. I just have a smattering of French to get me by, but Mia here is my right hand woman. I know most of you speak or write some English. If it makes you uncomfortable, I have no qualms learning basic phrases in Korean.

Elyse started fidgeting with her hands. She wasn’t one for talking or giving speeches, so this was wearing on her slightly. This studio is mine. I own it outright with my sister Kristina, the ‘K’ in EK dance. I am the boss. I run a great studio. We work hard, and we have fun.” She smiled at Mia. “All of my employees are offered free dance classes. If we aren’t running something they want to see, I push them to create it for themselves.” Elyse paused for a moment and looked at the guys.

7 pairs of eyes were staring at her. She continued on “You gentlemen are a special case. You aren’t my employees, but your management is paying an assload of money. With that, you have open privileges to the studio. Any class you want to do a walk in on, feel free. There is a schedule out front with every class we offer. There are only two classes you aren’t allowed in,” Elyse cleared her throat “The pole dancing class, and my kids dance class that I taught before you guys came in. If you are interested in pole dancing, we can set up a class for you, but we typically don’t get a lot of men that are serious about it, so I stopped offering it to them.” She walked over and grabbed her tablet from her bag in the corner of the floor. “I know that is a lot of information in a short amount of time, but I have the information in file folders for each of you. It’s in English and Korean. Do you have any questions up front?”

The starer raised his hand “Go ahead,” Elyse said while smiling. He said something in Korean, which made Elyse turn to Mia. She was struggling not to laugh.The rest of the gentlemen had lost what sense they had and were dying laughing. Starer was looking around completely confused at everyone. Mia cleared her throat. “He asked, ‘what is a gangbang and why won’t we be doing one?’”

The only noise Elyse made was a slight snorting in her throat. “Um. I don’t need a translator for this one sweets.” Mia stepped back smirking. Ignoring everyone else in the room Elyse walked forward to Starer. She stood between his legs and looked down at him and smiled. She made a circle with one hand and moved her pointer finger in and out of it with her other. His eyes widened. She then proceeded to shove three more fingers in the circle rapidly.

“Mia, can you make sure he understands what I’m getting at?” Elyse stated, not taking her eyes off of him. Mia spoke to him and he nodded rapidly. The tips of his ears were bright red. Hyungwon stared at her

“She’s gonna be fun,” he muttered in Korean.

“I’d like to know each of your names, and how you would rate yourself at dancing. What do you recognize needing work?” Elyse said. She held a tablet in her hands, taking notes. Shownu went first.

“I am Shownu,” he stated in Korean. I am the primary choreographer for our group and I think I dance just fine.”

Once Mia translated, Elyse arched a brow. “Everyone has something they can work on. You find you are great at everything?”

“Yes” Shownu said defiantly.

“Okay, well, we will come back to that. Next?” They went down the list. Wonho, Jooheon, Hyungwon, Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Changkyun. Each of them had things they wanted to work on. Except Shownu. Time for her to explain some things.

“I am a big believer in always improving. I have been dancing since I was 14. I am a rare one in the fact that I have gotten so far so fast,” she hesitated for a second and looked at them.

“Black people have a saying; work twice as hard for half the reward,” she explained. “I don’t like half the reward, so I work 4 times as hard. I don’t expect anyone to keep up with me, but there is always something I can work on. My flexibility is my big thing.”

She glanced at Shownu. “I saw you stretching out earlier. Is that how you always do it?” Shownu nodded. Elyse pointed at his calf. “The second you try to use that muscle it is going to scream. You aren’t stretching it properly so that is where we are going to start today.” With that, Elyse sat on the ground and put everyone through their paces, stretching every single muscle.

“I put together a dvd of stretches you guys can practice when you have time.” Elyse attempted to hand the DVD to Shownu specifically. He refused to take it and was pouting. She rolled her eyes and handed it to Hyungwon.

“We are all new to each other and I thought tomorrow we’d take the time to analyze your dancing and see where we can add new things or enhance old ones. As part of my Masters project, I developed dance suits. You will see something similar used in video game making to enable them to CGI the movements. I also designed the program they are used in. I’m pretty proud of it,” she smiled again. “In order for you to wear them, I need you guys to make sure you wear boxer shorts tomorrow.” Elyse looked straight down at her tablet when she said this.

“That is all I have for today. I’m going to give you two hours of your time back today. It won’t always be like this, but you’ve just got here, I know you have to be jet lagged. In the DVD case is my contact information, so if you need anything I am a text away.”

“Does anyone have any questions, thoughts, or concerns?” One of the gentlemen raised his hand. “I haven’t learned names yet, so can you tell me your name before you ask your question?” Elyse nodded at the hand raiser. He spoke rapidly in Korean while looking at her. She smiled and turned to Mia.

“His name is Wonho and he just wanted to know if your sister will be working with you,” Mia translated.

“Ah, my sister is more of a namesake for the place,” Elyse explained. “She does teach some classes at a lower experience level, but it’s very infrequently and only when I am in a pinch. She is more focused on art. Watercolor painting mostly. If you look in that file folder I gave each one of you, the art gallery she frequently shows at is in there, and I believe she has some pieces there now if you’re interested.”

“Another thing I wanted to mention is meals,” Elyse said. “We’ll probably do an hour lunch and a couple of 15 minute breaks during the day. That is subject to change if more is needed. In that folder is a list of restaurants in the downtown area. I have listed a ton, but have also had a map drawn, so you can see what is in proximity to you and the studio.” She paused. “I know we live in the world of google maps, and things like that, but they make mistakes. UberEats also delivers to the building. The whole time Mia is translating for Elyse. Once she pauses in her translating, Elyse gives her arm a squeeze in thanks.

“Do you live around here as well? I’m Changkyun, or you can call me IM.” He said in English.

“Good question, and no I do not,” said Elyse, “though I live in Indianapolis, I wanted to try and be by some type of water if I could. So I live about 30 minutes northeast in a neighborhood called Geist. There is a reservoir there and the back of my house is on it.” Elyse paused a bit to allow both Mia to catch up as well as wait for any other questions.
“Nothing else?” she asked. Shownu mumbled something in Korean. Elyse glanced at Mia, and Mia shook her head.

“Alright then, I will see you tomorrow bright and early.” As Elyse started walking away she mumbled quickly to Mia, “Walk slower, he’s going to say some shit.”

If you didn’t watch carefully you wouldn’t have even seen Elyse pause to give the order. She continued to walk and pick up her belongings including a helmet. Once she exited the room Shownu let loose.

“WHAT KIND OF SHIT WAS THAT!? Stretching!? No wonder she’s teaching kids, that’s all she’s good for. Masters my ass. HOW DARE SHE!?”

The other boys of Monsta X were trying to calm him down. All of them were shocked, as Shownu doesn’t have a temper at all. He never reacts to anything unless food was involved and never in front of someone who could understand what he was saying. Mia crept out of the room before he could realize she was still there. She didn’t really care if he saw her, what would he do? It would just be less awkward to have a confrontation so early. She caught up to Elyse downstairs as she was carefully adjusting her equipment on her bike and gave her the abbreviated version of what she heard.

“I don’t know about that one Mia. I’m not used to bumping heads with people.” said Elyse.

Mia smiled “You’re a sweet girl, and he doesn’t seem like he’s used to taking orders from anyone, much less a girl. You’ll get this. I have confidence in you.” Elyse grinned back at her, her gap showing through.

“Thank you, you’re sweet. You want a ride home? I have an extra helmet I keep in the building.”

Mia shook her head “You won’t get me on that death trap!”

“Aww, you’ll hurt her feelings talking that way.” Elyse teased.

As she tied the rest of her stuff down and took her hair down to get her helmet on, the boys walked out of the studio. They watched her put her helmet on and gather her hair behind her.

“She’s cute,” Jooheon said in Korean. “I don’t think she’s going to take your shit Shownu. You might want to calm down before we see her tomorrow.”

“I’m not scared or concerned about her.” sneered Shownu. They all stared after her as she drove off.

So yes. This is the first chapter. I hope you enjoy. If you want to see the rest of the story (chapter 6 is being posted today), you can go to https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130949/chapters/63570670.

You will need an account to read as there is some explicit content.

The back of Elyse and Kris' house
Inspiration of Elyse's side tattoos
Different areas and their inspiration

I really need you to stop ruining my media

Oh god. Where to begin.

When Harry Potter became a phenomenon, I was a bit too old for the initial hype. I was a sophmore in college. The only reason I came to read it was that I was dumping trash in the trash can and I spied a brand new book before I dumped my trash. It was the first book of the Harry Potter series. I picked it up before I dumped my trash and proceeded to read. I was hooked.

What followed after that was daydreaming about what house I would be in (I now know it is Ravenclaw), and doing midnight book buys with my friends.

J.K Rowling is ruining all of that for us now.

In case you didn't know what happened, J.K is doubling down on her TERF-yness by all kinds of tweets.

To fully understand the problem with this, you have to be a little nuanced. Just a little bit though. You see, all menstruating people are not women. That's the nuance. That is it, right there. That's all you got to do. J.K then doubled down, and used "My black friend said it was okay." Only, with a lesbian.

My husband (and many other people, I am aware he did not coin it) have a saying. "You die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain" In our social media times, you have to die pretty quickly not to become the villain.

This other one isn't a surprise. Stephanie Meyer has always been trash. The only black person in the whole Twilight franchise is an bad guy, who is super ashy (like... he needed some shea butter badly) and didn't have time to get his locs retwisted before being changed. I am not talking about her though. I am talking about the Twilight Fan-fiction groups.

If you listen to our podcast, then you know, the only fan fiction I read is Twilight. Whenever there is a disaster, they band together, writing fiction and raising funds. I tend to struggle with this group of women, because in the entire history of me reading the fan fiction, I have come across a Black Bella, once. And she was biracial. The story was never finished and Bella talked about bbq sauce a lot in the story.

I haven't heard a Black Lives Matter. I haven't heard a rallying call. I haven't even heard support of anything, and quite frankly, I am tired. I am tired of having to bring it up. Being an ally, being a true ally is stepping forward, and none of these women seem to do that. I do remember at some point someone bringing up the fact that no one seems to write POCs in their stories, except for when Zafrina, or the Quileute Tribe (which, they got the severe short end of the stick on this story as well) comes in. And everyone was like "They don't exist in the story." Every single story has characters that aren't in the story, but you still write about their slim milky throats just fine.

Guys I am tired. I AM TIRED and I know Quinzel is too. Can we just have a brief stop on shitty behavior and tired excuses for the rest of 2020? I need a break.

Rona Blahness Part 2

With the Black lives being taken with no regard and the Rona, I have needed a ton of fantasy to delve into. Today I am listening to Hello From the Magic Tavern.

Do you have a podcast you thoroughly enjoy? Let me know in the comments.

Gen Con is Cancelled for 2020

To Our Gen Con Community

It is with a heavy heart that we must announce the cancellation of Gen Con 2020 this summer in Indianapolis. The safety and health of our attendees, exhibitors, and staff are of the utmost importance to us, and we cannot in good conscience host a gathering of thousands while doing so could threaten the health of so many. If you'd like to know more about our decision to cancel, please head over to the Gen Con website.

If you've already purchased your badge for Gen Con 2020 and are willing to roll it forward to Gen Con 2021, it will help us keep our staff employed through these unprecedented times and come back better than ever next year. If you'd like to pursue this option, you don't have to do anything — we'll convert your 2020 badge to a badge for 2021. However, if that's not in your financial picture, we completely understand.

Here are the options for your Gen Con 2020 badge:

1. If you are willing to roll your badge forward to 2021, then you're all set — we'll do this automatically, with great appreciation.

2. If you'd like a refund to the original method of purchase, please email us at customerservice@gencon.com between May 26 and July 29.Let us know you'd like a refund, and include your name and Gen Con ID number (find it next to your name in the corner while logged in). We'll process a refund minus a $10 per badge return fee.

3. If you'd like to return your badge for system credit, email us at customerservice@gencon.com between May 26 and July 29 and we will credit your Gen Con account. Please include your name and Gen Con ID number. Returns to system credit incur no return fees, and system credit does not expire.

4. You can donate the cost of your badge to help us weather the storm and come back strong for Gen Con 2021. Email customerservice@gencon.com between May 26 and July 29 and include your name and Gen Con ID number if you'd like to pursue this option.

Note: Refund requests will not be accepted until May 26, and must be received by email to customerservice@gencon.com by July 29. Please include your choice of action for your badge, your name, and your Gen Con ID number (find it to the right of your name in the corner when you're logged in at gencon.com).

After July 29, all 2020 badges will be rolled over to 2021. If you miss that window or decide later you'd like a refund, you can request one beginning February 1, 2021.

If you've made a hotel reservation through our Housing Portal, your reservation will automatically be canceled, and you will not be charged any fees. The hotel queue will be reassigned for 2021.

All Pop-Up Gen Con events will also be canceled for 2020.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your support during this time. We hope that you and your circle of loved ones are safe and healthy! We look forward to seeing your wonderful faces in 2021!

Curing The Rona Blahness

One of the things that I find myself doing during all of this #cornteen is writing postcards to my friends. I love getting mail that isn't bills. A friend of mine and I started exchanging postcards infrequently a couple years ago. I'll send a few throughout the year, and every time I go on vacation I make sure to send her one from each area I am at that allows me to. I have roped Quinzel on this as well and send her postcards from all over.

A long time ago I belonged to a website called InterPals. I decided to see if I was still a member and I am! I found someone to write to and will be sending her letters soon. I had penpals all throughout high school. Normally they were in France as I was taking French. I enjoy writing letters. I also enjoy collecting stationary. This is a way to get a use out of the stationery. I recently bought some stationery on etsy and if follow us on Instagram, you would have saw me mention it in the instastories.

View this post on Instagram

I needed some #stationery to write pen friends!

A post shared by geekygirlguide (@geekygirlguide) on

Stationery is paper. Stationary is stay still.

This is just one of the many things I do to try and keep a positive outlook. What about you? What are you doing to try and curb your blahness?

New Year, Same Me

Greetings and salutations! I hope everyone’s holiday and subsequent return back to work was happy, healthy, and productive.

Over the past couple of months I have been sitting here racking my brain about the form and function I would like the blog and podcast to take. With the podcast, I tend to neglect the blog, leaving a lot of the day to day content to Quinzel. I started blogging as a way for me to have a creative writing outlet from my job. Because baybee, let me tell you, I am in the wrong job.

As I get older I am realizing more and more the fact that I have no creative outlet in my job is straight stifling me. Add to the fact I am not a huge fan of taking orders, you can see that I am not doing super great in corporate America.

Here are my goals. I would like the podcast and the blog to create income. Maybe not a lot of income at first, just enough to pay for the hosting of both. That would be awesome, because the blog hosting I pay triannually and it hurts.  I’d like to do both of these full time. That would make me happiest. In order to start generating profit I need to start putting out content regularly.  My goal is to sit down this weekend and see what is feasible for me. Something I do need is a consistent schedule. My hope is with a consistent schedule I can create more. I need to use the opportunities to write and reecord that I have. For example I am writing this while Geeky Baby is in her dance class. That is about 45+ minutes (minus shoe changes) of time a week I can use to write, plan, send email requests, etc. I need to start being mindful with my time which is truly a struggle for me. I literally will spend hours scrolling Facebook and retweeting on Twitter.  I want to reach out to creatives and learn their stories and present their stories to you. This means I need to actually nut up and speak to people.  I want to get better at interviewing. I want to do more. So I shall.

I hope you are ready to see more of me in 2020. I missed you .

Blogger, Podcaster, and General all around Geeky Girl

How many times should you dust yourself off and try again?

Whew Chilay. It has been a week year. I don't even know where to begin with this.

I talked a little bit about this on Instastories earlier today. I graduated from college in 2008. That means I have been in the world of Information Technology for 11 years. 11 long, thankless years. For those of you that do not know, my major was computer information technology with a specialty in Microsoft Networking. I've never used the Microsoft Networking portion of this degree because does MS even deal in networking? Who knows. After working crap jobs for so many years, I kicked off my IT career doing help desk.

I've worked some form of help desk over the years, working my butt off, striving to do better and be better than I ever was *cue Pokemon song* but it seems like I could never get ahead. A few years ago I wrote a blog called When a Geek is Fed Up. It detailed some of the abuses I dealt with in a large corporate environment. I got away I was free and life was good.

Until it wasn't.

It seems no matter where I go or what I do, I can't seem to get ahead or get promoted. When i first started out in my field I understood. I worked for a tiny company. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to promote me to. I eventually worked up the nerve to ask for a raise and title change. I was told no, because my manager at the time didn't believe in different titles (which confused me to no end, but whatever). The environment I was in when I wrote 'When a Geek is Fed Up' was absolutely toxic. I applied for a position that would have been a promotion and I nailed the interview. I was what they were looking for. I found out later that the person that I was interviewing with, the person that would have been my manager actually wanted me for the position, but it was a good ol boy system and he was pressured to hire someone else. Namely my supervisor at the time who wasn't even eligible for the position at the time (he had just gotten a promotion and should not have been able to take another position for at least a year).

Why am I writing about this? Because it has happened again. I applied for a position I am qualified for. It would be a good jump for me, pushing me further in my career. It was with the same company I am currently with. I was hopeful and excited. The first month.

Two months after I applied they finally interviewed me. I thought the interview went well. I was to go on vacation a month after the interview but I figured I would have an answer by then. I was wrong. Two months after the interview, still no response. At this point we are 4 months past the point where I applied. Another two months pass. I finally got a "we're going with someone else."

Six months. It took me 6 months to get a rejection from a job in a company I work in. And what's more, I got the rejection while I was at work. This may sound strange as if I would get a response after work, but I was applying for a department. They are in another state. They typically call me after hours to let me know news. I then had to make it through another 4 hours at work without crying rage tears.

I know some people can suck things up and move it along to the next opportunity, but it honestly feels like I am drowning. I enjoy the people I work with, but my job duties have changed so much in the past three years, that I no longer recognize this position. There is no longer any joy in it as half the time I have no clue what is going on. I am disinterested. I want to focus on what I actually want to do for a career. How do I do that, when I can't even get a foot in the door of a company that knows my work ethic? It feels like I will always be slowly scrabbling at the ladder and I am so tired of it.

Free RPG Day!

I usually do not write back to back like this, But I just got an email from Paizo that needs to be shouted from the rooftops

GET YO' FREE RPG MAN! Per Paizo:

Pick up the free game products at participating retail stores this Saturday, June 15.

Paizo is proud to again sponsor Free RPG Day 2019 and will release the We Be Heroes? and Skitter Crash adventures, plus the Pathfinder Adventure Card Game: We Be Heroes? storybook for free on Saturday, June 15 at participating retail locations. Players are encouraged to check out the program's event locator at freerpgday.com, join in the fun and grab a copy of Paizo's Free RPG Day offerings while supplies last.

These special adventures were created specifically for Free RPG Day 2019. The print editions will be available for sale and free PDF downloads will be available on paizo.combeginning July 1, 2019.

Pathfinder Module: We Be Heroes?

As an undead army pushed forth by the Whispering Tyrant stirs in the Southern Fangwood, driving the local animals to flee in terror, the goblins of the Crookedtoes tribe suddenly find their bellies empty and growling for food. Worse, the tribe's best scout has gone missing, and the chief has tasked the four brightest members of the Crookedtoes to go out into the woods and find out what happened. While searching for the missing scout, the goblins stumble across a wrecked farmhouse on a hill and discover a group of knights camped nearby. Though the knights have retreated from the undead army menacing the area, they have decided to make one last, desperate stand: an endgame doomed to wipe out both the knights and the Crookedtoes settlement. Now, the four goblins must test their mettle—will they emerge as victorious heroes, or fall to the might of the undead scourge?

We Be Heroes? is a Pathfinder Playtest adventure for four 1st-level goblin characters that gives players and GMs alike a taste of the Pathfinder Playtest rules. They can be downloaded for free at PathfinderPlaytest.com. The adventure adds a twist to the familiar modules We Be Goblins!We Be Goblins Too!We Be Goblins Free!, and We B4 Goblins!, Paizo’s popular series of Free RPG Day adventures!

Product Link

Starfinder Skitter Crash

The galaxy’s favorite skittermanders are back and ready to help—but this time, they're the ones in trouble!

After a successful salvaging mission, the heroes are riding a joyous high aboard their very own starship. However, angry space pirates with a grudge crash the party—and then a bizarre interstellar cyclone engulfs both sides’ vessels and flings them into a strange world's atmosphere! Thanks to the help of a tiny mining vessel, the skittermanders are able to escape to this swampy planet. Once they take in their boggy surroundings, it’s up to the furry heroes to track down their ship, avoid vengeful enemies, work with the sluglike scholars living in the muck, and find a way off this dangerous planet once and for all!

In addition to this freewheeling adventure, this book includes four pregenerated characters that are ready to play, with full stat blocks and backstories. The inside covers include all of the maps needed for this adventure. Plus, the inside back cover provides some guidance for items our helpful skittermanders might have scavenged from their previous forays!

Skitter Crash is a wild romp of an adventure intended for four 3rd-level skittermander characters who are exploring and trying to escape a swampy world, written for the popular Starfinder Roleplaying Game.

Product Link

Pathfinder Adventure Card Game: We Be Heroes?

The goblins of the Crookedtoes tribe suddenly find their bellies empty and growling for food. Worse, the tribe's best scout has gone missing, and the chief has tasked the brightest members of the Crookedtoes to go out into the woods and find out what happened. While searching for the missing scout, the goblins stumble across a wrecked farmhouse on a hill and discover a group of knights besieged by an undead army. Now, the new heroes must test their mettle—will they fall to the mighty zompigs or emerge as victorious heroes?

We Be Heroes? is a Pathfinder Adventure Card Game adventure designed for starting characters. It requires the Pathfinder Adventure Card Game Core Set to play. If you have only the Core Set, you can play this adventure with 1-4 characters. To play with 5 or 6 characters, you will need to either add characters and appropriate boons from an Adventure Path box, or add 1 Class or Character Deck for each additional player.

I bopped over to freerpgday.com to take a look and see if there was anything near me in Indianapolis that I could get. Turns out Saltire Games at 11723 Pendleton Pike is participating. I plan on reaching out to them on Twitter to make sure this is true and will update if needed!

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