There Is Such a Thing as Point Break Live
I recently traveled to Los Angeles to visit some friends. They had a full weekend planned for me. There were some touristy things like a road trip to Santa Barbara, which was gorgeous. Also, was honored to have the best Mexican food I have ever had in Santa Barabara. Simply fantastic.
However, the most amusing event planned for my weekend was attending a stage version of the film Point Blank. If you take the movie seriously, which is difficult for myself to fathom, then this presentation will probably not be something you want to spend an evening doing. If you love the movie and think it gets more ridiculous every time you watch it, this is definitely something you need to do without question. This is the stuff of bucket lists, people.
Point Break Live is a wonderful, immersive experience of insanity. You know what kind of game you are in for, when you are advised to purchase a poncho. Warning, this isn’t the kind of evening you plan to look cute for. Wear something that you won’t exactly mind getting blood stains on. It’s okay. It’s only fake blood.
We start the show with a very important task, choosing a Keanu Reeves for the night. That’s right, one lucky man will be plucked from the audience and after a series of grueling challenges will emerge from the masses holding the crown of one Johnny Utah. I imagine the same casting accreditation happened to Mr. Reeves when he originally auditioned for the role.
Once we had our ponchos and a Keanu, we were good to start the show, and what a show and farce it was. I wasn’t kidding when I said the show was immersive. Everybody in the audience becomes a part of the game, hence the recommendation of ponchos. You will definitely get hit by water, maybe some blood, and maybe some stuff you would really feel better not defining. Tips for future audience members. If don’t like being center of attention or the ass of the joke, then avoid the front row or VIP sections. However, if you want to set your friends up and have a story that will last a lifetime, that is exactly where you want to sit. The actors will hit these areas the hardest.
My friends and I did our homework for the show. I probably haven’t seen this movie in like ten years, so a refresher was definitely needed. Having watched it again, though, brought up some concerning questions. No, I am not talking about the plot in general. I am talking about how this little group of actors was going perform certain scenes. For example, the sky diving scene. I was pretty doubtful of their ability to pull that off on a stage. Oh they do it, ladies and gents, they very much pull it off. Hilarious at that, as well. There is also a moment where the streets of good old Hollywood get utilized… It is truly hysterical, but probably terrifying for that random driver or pedestrian that gets surprised by the event.
I don’t really want to reveal too much. The plot is pretty much blown for you, so there has to be some kind of mystery that pulls you in. This is the kind of show you go to for a good laugh and most definitely a good time. I fully recommend Point Break Live to anyone that happens to be in the LA area and finds themselves with the opportunity. The company also stated that they do a parody of Terminator 2: Judgment Day, called, Terminator Too Judgment Play. I really want to see this one now as well! If any of you, my lovely readers, happen upon Terminator or hell get to see this little show, let me know how it went!
Top Ten Favorite Quotable Comedies
This list is not in any particular order, nor does it necessarily showcase my favorite comedies. These are the films that I quote frequently, if not on a damn near daily basis. I have watched these films more times than I probably should have, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun.
Slackers
This film is probably not as well-known as the other films on this list, but it is the one that I actually do quote daily. I was heavily in my swooning days of Devon Sawa, when I saw this with my friends. While my adoration of that man has faded, my love for this movie has certainly not. Some of my friends and I can sing the song at the end instantly. Hell, we say “I luuuu you,” more than we say “I love you,” because of this movie.
Favorite Quotes:
Ethan: I want to make sure that you and I are best friends - "gnome" matter what.
Angela: Ethan, that's a troll.
Ethan: "Gnome", it's not.
Angela: Ethan, what is this, is this a hair doll?
Ethan: I didn't make that! It fell out of your hair that way!
Ethan: Are you okay? Do you need a Fresca?
Spaceballs
Whether or not you are a Star Wars fan, most of us agree at least that Spaceballs was a thing of comedic beauty. I always tell people to use the schwartz. As a child of the 80’s this not only made perfect fun of Star Wars, but it brought together all of the bests 80’s jokes of the time. Max Headroom was in the movie. Epic.
Favorite Quotes:
PrincessVespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
LoneStarr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.
Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.
DarkHelmet: You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it.
Colonel Sandurz: Are we being too literal?
DarkHelmet: No you fool, we're following orders. We were told to comb the desert so we're combing it.
Austin Powers in Goldmember
I love all of the Austin Powers movies, but this was the best and far more quotable of the three. The lines in this film, they are fantastic! One of my best friends and I spent three hours watching this movie, because we kept rewinding shit just to fall out all over again.
Favorite Quotes:
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know.
Dr. Evil: [comes over to Goldmember] How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard?
AustinPowers: Thanks, baby! Now what's your name?
FookMi: Fook Mi!
AustinPowers: Can you kiss your mother with that mouth?
AustinPowers: Mole. Bloody mole. We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face. I want to c-u-u-t it off, ch-o-o-p it off, and make guacamole.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
If you were born in Indiana, like me, and grew up next to a cornfield in the heart of Nascar country, then you lived and breathed this comedy. It didn’t matter if you liked Nascar, because it played on several redneck stereotypes that you had no choice but to grow up around. That personal connection just made the whole movie funnier.
Favorite Quotes:
TexasRanger: Aw, Grandma, not my prison shank!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
Lucy Bobby: So how was your day driving with you father?
Ricky Bobby: Well let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Zoolander
Thank you comedy gods for blessing us with a sequel to this movie. This movie is sooo dumb, yet sooo good. My co-blogger and I used to quote this movie all time at our old job. We were always trying to be the life of the party. She and I can go all day on this movie. All damn day.
Favorite Quotes:
Mugatu: Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
Derek Zoolander: [high-pitched cough] ... I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there.
Derek Zoolander: Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?
Napoleon Dynamite
I was in college when this movie came out. I will admit after the first time I watched this movie, I had no damn clue what the hell I just witnessed. It puzzled me so much, that I had to watch it a second time. I was sold. This was by far the best movie without any real plot I had ever seen. There was about a month to a month and a half where every Saturday we watched this movie with a bunch of friends. Tater tots and nachos were made, while one of my best friends and I tried to perfect an alcoholic beverage with Gatorade. Yeah, that last part never panned out well, nor did my hopes that if one hydrates you as the other dehydrates you, they should cancel each other out. Nope, straight up Thunderdome for Gatorade and alcohol, and alcohol always wins.
Favorite Quotes:
Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!
Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Nacho Libre
I will continue to follow all Jared Hess movies, because they are the best and the lines are amazing. This movie is also so dumb, and I love it. I never get enough of it. It is just this perfect beautiful world that I can’t help, but fall in love with.
Favorite Quotes:
Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win!
Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!
Chancho: My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.
Nacho: Somebody stole them.
SeñorRamon: Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
This is probably the classiest of classic comedies, and dammit do I ever eat up British humor. I have a lot of friends who are not really into this movie, so making jokes and quoting around them doesn’t get real far. Oh but how it does on the inside. Give it another chance if you haven’t seen it in a while. It may surprise you.
Favorite Quotes:
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
The Sweetest Thing
This is one of the select films that when my best friends and sisters get together, we immediately put this on. It is the epitome of our friendship. We each identify with someone in the film and we can’t get enough of it. If we are missing each other, we’ll watch it and start sending quotes.
Favorite Quotes:
Gramps: F@#$ Grandma.
Christina: I got a penis in my eye.
Courtney: Let me see.
Christina: How is it? Is it okay?
Courtney: Yeah, it's okay, but I think you're pregnant.
[to little boy sitting in the pew in front of her in church]
Courtney: Turn around.
[Little boy shakes his head]
Courtney: Turn around.
[Little boy shakes his head]
Courtney: Look, it's Jesus. Look at Jesus!
So I Married An Axe Murderer
Really the only reason to watch this movie is to watch Mike Myers. While the main character that he plays has some good scenes and lines here and there. It is the character of his Scottish father that Myers plays that steals the whole damn movie. I always watch this movie, but after seeing it once, I tend to turn it off when the two main characters head off for their honeymoon. The character of his Scottish Dad is no longer in the movie, and I just can’t see the point.
Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.
StuartMackenzie: [after exhausting a bagpipe player at Stuart and Harriet's wedding] We have a piper who's down! Repeat, Piper Down!
Stuart Mackenzie: Thirty years ago today, May and I were married. Some of you were there, some of you weren't born, and some of you are now DEED! But, we both said "I do," and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.
May Mackenzie: That's true!
Stuart Mackenzie: But I'm glad I married you, May, because hey, could've been worse.
Mr. Ramis, It Has Been a Joy
Sadly we lost a great man last week, Harold Ramis. Most recognizable for Ghostbusters, many may not realize his true contribution to comedy. His writing and directing credits rival John Hughes, and many of his masterpieces are ingrained in our popular culture.
Below is a sampling of his greatest works. Take some time when you can to revisit some of these classic comedies, and when you do, remember the man that brought them to you. If you have never seen these classics, please do. You are missing out on comedies that continue to shape movies being made today.
Animal House
Considered one of the best comedies ever made and the crowning jewel of National Lampoon’s films, this was Ramis’s first real venture into to Hollywood. Co-written by him in 1978, the movie tells the story of a decrepit fraternity house, Delta house, and the motley crew that call it home. The school Dean has made it his personal mission to remove the ink stain of a fraternity off of his campus to finally claim the clean reputation his school sets out to present. Hilarity ensues as the Delta boys do everything in their power to foil the plans and efforts of the Dean in getting rid of them.
Caddyshack
Partly written and directed by Ramis, this film is considered the best golf comedy ever made. Danny, trying to earn money for his college education, become a caddy at a high end club. With the opportunity of earning a scholarship, Danny is left at the rude and dismissive whims of his superior. After meeting Ty Webb, Danny gets a whole other education and begins to work out what is truly important for him and his future. The laughs are always present between Roddy Dangerfield’s and Bill Murray’s characters. Whether or not you are a golf fan, you can find entertainment in this movie.
Stripes
Not only did Ramis lend his writing talents to this film, but he acted in it as well. This is the story of two friends joining the army for a change in pace. John at least sells this to his friend, Russell. John is not a by the book kind of man and challenges every statute that defines the military. Bill Murray stars with Ramis alongside him in this creative comedy, one of many team ups by the creative duo.
Groundhog Day
Considered one of Bill Murray’s greatest roles, this film was co-written and direcected by Ramis. Phil is tasked with covering the Groundhog Day event for the fourth year in a row. Exceedingly annoyed by this job, he makes no effort to hide it throughout the day. The tables turn on him when he wakes up the next morning to Groundhog Day again. No matter what he does or does not do, he keeps waking up to Groundhog Day and reliving it over and over. He eventually discovers that he has been given the opportunity to make the day right in every way. He just has to figure out how.
Ghostbusters
Any geek or nerd would risk losing some of their reputation if they admitted to not knowing what Ghostbusters was. Not only that, but it has become the movie that keeps on giving for those who grew up in the late 80’s. The movie you may have watched when you were eight is not the movie you watch when you turn eighteen, and yet both are amazing. That is something very hard to achieve. This is another of Ramis’s great acting and writing examples. Three friends working in a university parapsychology department get their grant taken from them and are kicked out with no money or ideas for the next step. They decide to take what they know and turn it into a ghost capturing business. Taken as a joke at first, business starts to boom, spreading the word and popularity of the self-proclaimed Ghostbusters. They soon are tested with the biggest bust of their lives and end up saving the world to do it.
That is just a highlight of some of Harold Ramis’s work. Honorable mentions of his contributions include:
Meatballs
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Back to School
Club Paradise
Armed and Dangerous
Ghostbusters II
Multiplicity
Analyze This
Analyze That
Year One
I say this to Mr Ramis. Your work has brought me continuous laughter and entertainment. You may be at peace now, but your work will live on and continue to inspire me as well as others. Thank you for that.
Top Ten John Hughes Movies
I was in a John Hughes mood tonight, and I wanted to highlight my top ten favorite movies. It was a very sad day when this man passed. I will be forever grateful for what this man has added to my life growing up, and I hope that someday I can achieve something that is close enough to its equal with my own writing. Whether he wrote it or directed it, he practically ruled the 80’s comedy with one tiny finger. He is one of my favorites and his contributions to film will be forever missed.
- The Breakfast Club – Hands down, my absolute favorite movie of all time. I don’t care that the movie was clearly filmed in the 80’s. This movie is untouchable and generations of high school students to come will always be able to find themselves in one of these characters. The richness of the writing and the reality put into this film make it a yearly watch in my books.
- Sixteen Candles – This is one of the funniest teen romance comedies that I have ever seen. Though I don’t really know what Sam saw in Jake Ryan beyond his dreamy looks, it doesn’t matter. I am along for the whole ride, cheering for her when he shows up at the wedding. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, and I will just eat this mess up.
- Weird Science – This is the movie that gives all geeks and nerds hope that when life fails them, they can just build something and make it better. I just don’t think anyone else has successfully created a woman who can change reality at a whim. The bar scene is in today’s world is terribly not PC, but it is probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen Anthony Michael Hall do.
- National Lampoon’s Vacation – It one of the best comedy’s ever made, spawning sequels that aren’t as equal, but still entertaining, the exception being the Christmas sequel. While the Griswolds suffered through several plights and hijinks on their way to Walley World, I think every one of us wanted to be a part of their family even for a little bit.
- Ferris Beuller’s Day Off – Every kid in high school dreamed of skipping school after seeing this film. Unfortunately, we all quickly realized that we lacked Ferris’s impeccable preplanning skills and general mass appeal to ever pull off the day he managed. We will just have to settle for living through Ferris and his sheer epicness.
- National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – Yep, it is so good that it deserves its own spot. I have a lot of movies I would like to watch during the holiday season, but there are only a handful that are absolute necessities. This is one of those few. It just isn’t Christmas without it. It actually makes you feel a little bit sorry for Clark. He may come off as being goofy or idiotic, but the man is truly a hard worker and good father. He is the man that allows us to deal with every annoyance of the holiday with humor and at the same time reminding us of the spirit of the holiday. Wow, who knew there was something deep in that movie? Surprised me too.
- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles – This is my traditional Thanksgiving watch. The hilarity in this comedy of these two unlikely companions is comedy genius. We have all had some kind of experience that poor Neal has in this movie. When he loses it with the car rental associate, everybody feels some kind of internal relief. We have all wanted to go off on somebody like that. Even though it is full of shenanigans, it again has this heartwarming story about not judging a book by its cover. People can surprise you, and sometimes you can find a best friend.
- Home Alone – This may not make everybody’s top 10 list, but I was a kid when this came out. Trust me, you are all lucky that Beethoven didn’t make this list, because that movie spoke to me as a child. Putting Macaulay Culkin’s current, sketchy lifestyle aside, this movie is still powerful enough to overshadow it. What kid didn’t want to have run of the house especially when you have so many people dictating what you can and cannot do. This was every kid’s dream. Not only did Kevin make us feel like we could take on any criminal with resourcefulness and mad Erector Set building skills, but he reminded us that even though it can be fun, we still need our family.
- Pretty in Pink – While this was a total chick flick, this is one of the few romance dramas that still conflicts me to this day when Andie makes her choice. Sometimes I’m Team Duckie, and other times I’m Team Blane. Every once in a while I dismiss either one of them and stare dreamly at bad boy Steff. This was a good look for James Spader. The point is that every girl wants both a Duckie and a Blane. Sure Duckie may not have had the money or the looks that Blane did, but the man was devoted. Regardless whether Duckie ended up with Andie or not, I don’t think she appreciated his loyalty and friendship the way she should have. But that’s love huh. Sometimes it isn’t meant to be.
- Mr. Mom – Michael Keaton stole my heart here long before he put on the Batman suit. This is a great movie about the family dynamic, not to mention a great tutorial about how some things cannot be winged when it comes to children. We learned not to give babies chili, not to overdo it with detergent in the washing machine, and that housework and childcare is just as hard and exhausting any other 8 to 5. Oddly enough, this movie has had a lot more meaning in today’s world then it did in the 80’s. With the recession and improving gender role equality, this is happening more and more in today’s world.
Espionage Cosmetics
