Natural Hair

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I am not truly a product junky. Yes, I have a ton of samples floating around my house, but I don't run out and buy the latest and greatest thing (Not anymore at least). I have 3 staples.

  1. Belle Butters  - Premium whipped Shea Butter
  2. Nothing But Curl Wake Up Spray
  3. Kyah Alexandria Hydra Moist Leave in Conditioner

You will noticed that third one is not hyperlinked.

Leave in conditioner lasts me a really long time. I don't need a whole lot of it. I plop a little bit on right out of the shower, and then use my Belle Butters to take me the rest of the way.


I am nearly out of it after two years (told you it lasts me a while), and I went to the website to purchase more. Every time I clicked the link to the product, it would give me an error. So I tried other links on the page. Dead as well. I went over to her Facebook page and found this:

"Hi all. After much deliberation and careful consideration we've made the decision to close down kyah Alexandra. I've had a few deaths among family and friends this year. Soon we'll have a new baby and will be attending graduate school. So as you can see a lot is going on and will be going on in the upcoming year. I will still make myself available for those who have questions about their natural journey. Therefore I will keep the Kyah Alexandria Facebook page active as well as the YouTube channel. Most importantly, I would like to thank you for all your support and business."


I have a backup leave in conditioner that I use (Shea Moisture), but I don't really like it. It is watery and doesn't give me the moisture I need like Kyah. 

Do you have any suggestions on a great leave in? Have you had a product you love discontinued? What did you do?

Pampering Day- The Results.

Hey guys,

Coming at you with an incredibly late post on what I did on my pampering day.

Between going to school and working full time, I get run down fairly quickly. This is not good as it will affect my work and school performance. Not to mention our household. Both my husband and I burn the candle at both ends, so our house ends up looking crazy, which is a cause for depression. No one wants the place they call their sanctuary to look like a hoarders nest. 

Never this bad, but you get the point.
Think of it as the hierarchy of needs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is as follows:
From Wikipedia

What Maslow is saying is that your base needs have to be met in order for you to have any awareness of self. I am going to take it a step further and say you have to take care of yourself before you are able to take care of anyone else. So this is what I was going to do.
Hubs had to be out of town for work one weekend. I was going to take some time and do me and just be happy. That is what I did. 
I started off creating a hot oil treatment for my hair.
Cast of Characters: coconut oil, honey, Moroccan oil. I wanted olive oil, but I thought I was out. After I got finished, I discovered that the olive oil was on the kitchen stove. In front of my face. Bah.
I put my tea pot on to boil and doubled up two sandwich bags. I placed the oils and honey in the sandwich bags. I put the sandwich bags in a plastic container and poured the hot water in the container. 
I'm meelllting!!!!
I waited until the mixture was pretty much melted. I squished the bag between my fingers to combine all the ingredients. I then applied it to my hair and slapped a processing cap on. 
A little hint if you are going to do this, no matter how much preparation you have, it is going to get messy. Have your areas covered, and have a towel around your neck. More on this later.
I then began to draw my bath (doesn't that sound elegant!?). 
Sorry it is so blurry, its my camera phone. Cast of characters: Melon bubble bath, rose shaped soaps, giant lemon fizz ball, and essential oils that smell like Cool Water for Women. 
I ran the bath and dumped in bubble bath. I chopped off a piece of the fizzy ball and dropped it in there. I dumped in the rest of the oil and then I got to the soaps... Oh the soaps. Let me post the instructions about the soaps to you:
  • Fetch some pieces
  • Dissolve in some water
  • Scribble in the skin

I stared at them blankly, especially the scribble word. I am assuming that is a British thing, as I have never heard the word used in that context before. But oh well.

The resulting bath.. ahhhhh

 One more thing. My book.

The Playboy Prince by Nora Roberts.. ahh trashy literature!

I soaked for about an hour when a problem was becoming more and more apparent. The oil on my hair was getting EVERYWHERE. In my eyes, behind my ears, just all over the place. I eventually gave up, cleaned myself, and rinsed myself off. I twisted my hair and just relaxed the rest of the day. It was so nice. When I untwisted my hair the next day it was soft and manageable. One less stressor in my life!
What do you do to unwind? What is the most relaxing scenario you can think of?

A change is gonna come.


As I sit here with fried looking hair, looking rode hard and put away wet, I have decided I need a change.

                              I googled ‘Fried Dyed and Laid to the Side’ This is what I got *Snort*

I work 40 hours a week. I come home and I work more. School work and housework never ends. It isn’t just me though. If I am working 40 hours, my husband is currently putting in 60 to 70 hours a week. A couple of days ago He didn’t get home from work until 9pm.

It is not just that though. Ever since I lost weight, I haven’t shopped for clothes I enjoy. I have work outfits that I have purchased for the sole purpose of work. They are okay looking, but they make me feel staid and just, ugh.

I am stuck in a rut. I don’t take care of myself like I should. I don’t do anything for me and my husband. We work, we come home, we pick up dinner, and we stare blankly at the TV for an hour or two before we get started on our bedroom rituals.

I’m frustrated and tired guys. I’m stuck in a rut. I was doing laundry this evening and realized I was stuck in a clothing rut as well. Let me give you the primary example I have. For about 10 years now I have bought one type of jean. I purchase the Lane Bryant Right Fit Jeans. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones that are folded up in the store. (Size 6 blue circle!). The quality has gone downhill over the years. I am not entirely sure they are real denim anymore. Plus they smell funny, no matter how many times you wash them.

Tomorrow I am making time for myself. Jeff is out of town for the weekend for work (boo), but I am going to make the most of it. I plan on doing a hot oil treatment on my hair, painting my nails, and just beautifying myself. I also plan on buying a pair of nice new jeans. I need to step out of the jean comfort zone.  I still have homework and I still have housework, but I need to focus on myself for just a little bit.


My questions to you: Have you pampered yourself recently? If not, why? Is it something you struggle with?

Naturally Me? Sometimes I don’t want to be…

I tend to avoid things that aren’t naturally me. I do this for a couple of reasons. The first one being that things that aren’t natural to you, take work. For example; math does not come natural to me. It is something I continuously struggle with on a daily. I have like 3 math courses in my curriculum. It’s rough. I am to the point now that I am proficient in algebra. Then they threw geometry at me. I knew in high school that geometry wasn’t for me. Proofs are a joke. Why am I proving that a circle is round? You have eyes! You see that circle is round!
Like I said, these things take time and effort to work with. Time that I don’t really have and effort that I don’t want to give. I have a full time job, I go to school part time. I am sleepy. It just seems like there aren’t enough hours in the day. I don’t have time to do things that are completely out of the ordinary.
I kind of want a weave.
Now, this is not a good thing for me. I was weaved up for my wedding. It was beautiful. However, after a week, it was a big matted ball in the back of my head. I can’t take care of it. I don’t know how to.
Weave makes me nervous. I have never been good with keeping them. They irritate my husband as well. He loves my “fluffy hairs” and whenever I get something that disguises them, or mixes in with them, he throws a tiny fit.
I guess my question(s) to you are:
Do you wear weaves? How do you wash them? How do yours not end up in a big matted ball in the back of your head at the end of the week? How often do you go back to your stylist and get a touch up?
I can’t say that even if I am satisfied with the answers to my questions, I will go out and get one. They are expensive, hard for me to maintain, and just.. ugh. But I miss straight hair sometimes, and I like the idea of playing with it.  

Best choices for us.

I am exhausted. If anyone ever told me that the holidays were an actual vacation, I think I would punch them.
Roughly a month ago I got a haircut. It was actually more of a trim. My hair grows quicker in the back than anywhere else, giving me a mullet type look. Not good.
It got me to thinking. When I was younger if you came at my hair with a pair of scissors, be it a trim or an actual cut, to correct broken off hair, I would be in tears. My hair took forever to grow, and all I ever wanted was long hair. When it was relaxed, it seemed as if I could never achieve that dream. The longest my hair ever really got was to my earlobe.
With my natural hair, no matter how bad I treat it, it grows. When I say I treat it bad, I mean I don’t tie it up every night like I am supposed to, I go longer than I should without a serious detangle, and I have hand-in-hair syndrome.
Ultimately I believe that natural hair was the best choice for myself. What about you? 
 Can you tell I am sick? I feel like crap. On my way to work.
What is the best choice you have made for  yourself?

Oh, that turkey did a number on me.

Greetings and Salutations!

I hope your Thanksgiving was full of happiness and drama free.

While I did not exercise after my meal. I did not stuff myself.

I think the turkey did something to me, because last night I had the craziest of dreams. Most of it isn't relevant, but I had a dream my old beautician Margie was chasing me down the street with a cup full of relaxer. She told me "I wanted it." and "Think of how long my hair would be." I ended up doing it in my dream, but I was impressed with the results. I was also sad, thinking of how I was going to have to cut all my hair off and start over. What does it all mean!?

The Thanksgiving holiday is my husband's holiday, which means that we spend it at his parent's house. It went smoothly this year. The next holiday that I spend with my family is Christmas Day. Where I will get one or more of the following comments:

  • What are you going to do with your hair?
  • You just going to leave your hair like that?
  • What about dread-locs? You should get them!
  • Get a perm!

Meh. Just.. Meh. 


Hi guys! Long time no talk!

I miss you so much, but I am working hard. When I get done with school (which is either in May or August, hopefully; cross your fingers) I will have more time, but until then, it is what it is.

How are you guys doing on your natural hair journey? I am doing great. After I discovered a routine for myself, things seem to be good. You haven't seen pics for a while have you? Let me show you...

Me at my new job.. Got to have the obligatory bathroom shot.

Before I got my current job, I worked a temp job for a couple of weeks at my university. I had to park a considerable distance away and take a shuttle to my building. This is me waiting on my shuttle.

Not one of my favorite shots. But, you know...

I know, it's a lot of makeup. But I still felt cute. I was irritated because I was so concerned with getting that shot, that I forgot to put on earrings!

A really bad pic of me and the hubs. Awww.

So as you can see, my hair has been growing nicely. The next thing that I want to try is a bun. However, I have no clue where to start. So my questions to you are:

Do you ever put a bun in your hair? How did you learn? Do you recommend anyone's technique from YouTube?

I have yet to see anyone on YouTube with my hair length or kinkiness/curliness. Any thoughts and ideas you guys have are appreciated!

End of the world.. what do you take?


I love the show The Walking Dead. I love the whole zombie genre. Sad as it may be, my husband and I have a disaster/ zombie plan in place for it all.

So here is my scenario/question for you: You have a plan in place, and the day finally comes:The Zombie Apocalypse! Because you were prepared, you are either safely tucked away in a remote area with your supplies, or well on your way there.

Do you have hair products with you? If so what do you have!?

Thoughts on Self-Esteem


You pass by a mirror, stop and look. Start playing with your hair. Pull it back from your head, move it side to side. All of a sudden you hear a small voice. “You should never pull back your hair,” the voice whispers “your forehead is way to big for that.” You look in the mirror and realize whomever, or whatever that voice was is correct. Your forehead is huge. You sigh and leave your hair as is.

Oddly enough, this happened to me last night. I know who that voice was too. A long time ago, I was visiting my dad and my grandparents, and my grandpa introduced me to this woman. I believe my hair was incredibly short at the time; I had cut off almost all of my hair, and kept it gelled. Think Missy Elliot without the finger waves. The woman took one look at me and said “OOOH WEE! YOU GOT THAT FAMILY FOREHEAD DON’T YOU!?” I looked at the woman aghast. No one ever told me I had a huge forehead. I didn’t know! I demanded answers from my mom. “Well, it is kind of big, but nothing like that woman stated.” At that point the damage was done. Pretty much from then on out, I had some type of bang. It would mostly be side swept, but other times it would hang right in the front, hiding my ‘family forehead’.

When I was young (middle school) I was picked on a lot. We didn’t have health insurance, and so when I had an issue, unless it was life threatening, I would have to tough it out. I would get a hacking, barking, bronchitis cough every year. One year I coughed so hard I wet myself. Yeah, that went over really well. Being picked on really affected my self-esteem. I always second-guessed what I was doing, what I was wearing, how I lived. Being poor didn’t help that situation either. It took a long time for me to kick off those shackles. I am self confident and self assured. I don’t make apologies for who I am and what I say (unless it is a total foot in mouth moment and I could have said something with more tact.). But sometimes little niggling doubts make their way to the surface, just like last night.

In my new office setting, my differences stand out. With brown skin and curly kinky hair, I stand out amid the crowd of straight hair, blond/brunettes, and pale skin. I find myself reverting to the ways of middle school, hiding myself, not making eye contact, just, timid.

That is NOT me.

While not completely brash. I am bold, daring, and a little in your face. I stand up for myself and talk loud enough so that my voice is heard. I need to make that change. I need to be sure and more confident in myself. Going into information technology, I knew it would be like this. Either my race or my sex would make me a minority. I need to get over it. I refuse to revert back to that little girl.

Remember me?

I am the girl

with the dark skin

whose shoes are thin


I am the girl

with the rotted teeth

I am the girl

with the wounded eye

and the melted ear


I am the girl

holding their babies

cooking their meals

sweeping their yards

washing their clothes

Dark and rotting

and wounded, wounded

I would give

to the human race

only hope


I am the woman

with the blessed

Dark skin

I am the woman

with teeth repaired

I am the woman

with the healing eye

the ear that hears

I am the woman: Dark,

repaired, healed

Listening to you.


I would give

to the human race

only hope.


I am the woman

offering two flowers

whose roots

are twin

Justice and Hope

Hope and Justice

Let us begin.

*Poem by Alice Walker. Though I believe it is a poem about having children, I feel like most of the sentiment fits this entry.

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