relaxed hair

I am a damn mess.

LOL... so, there is this website ( where you can input your picture and try different makeup and celeb styles. There are no natural hair people on there...and there are barley any black people.. so I made do with what I had. Here is the result. Try not to fall out your damn seat like I did.

This is the Beyonce *snort*

Zoe Saldana

Keri Hilson

I forget who this is

And this

Here I think I look like a combo of Star Jones and Snooki *dead*
If you try it out, let me know, I want to see your creations LMFAO

A flashback to high school. I am a stronger person now.

I was an incredibly awkward teenager. I was (am) short, I was (am) fat, and I was (am) bookish. I played the clarinet, I read all the time, and you couldn't keep me from a computer. People tended to make fun of me as a result. A lot of the black girls in school made it their personal mission to make my life hell. I was miserable my freshman, sophmore, and junior year. By my senior year I had realized something. I was going places, and they would be stuck doing the same thing that they were always doing. This is pretty much true. Quite a few of them have not done a thing with their life. They are doing the same things they were doing while we were in high school, while I have moved on, stronger, wiser, and more confident in me. Sometimes though, niggling insecurities make their way back.

My husband and I had date night last night. We went and saw the Adjustment Bureau, and then went to eat at Scotty's Brewhouse. We were seated behind a group of black women with long straight hair down their backs. If you are on my Facebook page, you would know that I had two strand twisted my hair. I untwisted it, put in a headband and clipped in a flower. I felt cute.

I heard the ladies giggling and snickering behind me, but I didn't pay much attention. As we got up to leave I turned around to say something to the waitress, and they were looking at me. The three whose back was facing me while we were eating had craned their necks to see me. They were just gawking at me.. and possibly my hair, Not entirely sure. I flashed back to that moment back in high school where they were cruel and mocking me. I came back to the present, and I smiled and they turned back around immediately. I just walked out. 
Indianapolis is not a huge mecca of culture. It's very conservative and it makes me sad. To be different, gets you looks. 
The difference between the past and now? I don't care. You can snicker, and laugh and giggle, and talk about me behind my back. It shows how childish and immature you are. To show you can't accept differences in people, shows how cruel, small minded, and harsh you can be. You have taken someone's beauty standard, accepted it as law, and mock anything that is different.  You are nothing to me. You were never anything to me. So why should I care? I don't care. I've grown up... and I love me. 

Flat twists and coconut oil.

Since my gel problem has been solved, I needed to find a hair style that I wanted to try. I keep flashing back to my relaxed hair days and my unruly attempts as styling my own hair. I can't wield a curling iron if my life depending on it. I always got this really weird dent in the end of my hair. I never really had any creativity as far as styling my relaxed hair.

Because of this, I am leery of trying anything over the top or over dramatic with my hair to start out with. I think my first order of business is going to be doing flat twists in the front of my head. I will take pics and show you how everything goes. If I end up doing it well, I will make a youtube video of it.That is kind of where I learned the technique, but all the videos I went to were really low quality. I have decent camera equipment here, so maybe I can do a better one.

In other hair related news, I have decided to join the Coconut Oil Challenge over at Hairlista's Inc. I am incredibly late to the party (it started in November of last year) But it can't hurt. The rules are simple(taken from the site):

-Deep condition or prepoo with EVCO at least 2x a wk. You can do this however it works for you, you can condition w/ heat or w/out before you wash, you can do a hot oil treatment and keep it in overnight, you can also use the plastic cap and steam effect overnight with this if you'd like.

-Moisturize with your moisturizer of choice and seal with EVCO nightly or however often your hair desires it.

-After washing hair use EVCO as a leave in** Caution- use just enough to lightly cover hair, becareful not to use too much, maybe a dime size amount**

I can do that, easy peasy.I already use coconut oil as a prepoo.  I think I am going to go ahead and start tonight. If you end up joining the challenge, please let me know! We can be friends on Hairlista. I don't know much about the site, I am slowly exploring it. 

You guys have a great evening!

Cap v Pillowcase v Scarf…what say you?

Relaxed or Natural, one thing we all have in common is protecting our hair while we are sleeping.

From the time I was little, I always had a scarf. As I have gotten older, I prefer a cap. It stays on better in my sleep.

One thing that is not a real option for me, is a satin pillowcase. I understand the logic behind it. However, I have sleep apnea. I have a breathing machine. In order to wear the machine I have two straps that go around the back of my head. It just seems prudent to me to have a layer of protection in between the straps and my hair. I have used a satin pillow case in the past before I was diagnosed, and it worked just fine for me.

My question to you.. what do you prefer? Do you have some other thing that I did not mention? How did you choose what you wear?

Huetiful hair steamer give away!

This contest is in no way affiliated with my blog. However, I know how bad I want a hair steamer, I figure you guys might want a chance at winning one too. If you go to there is a survey for you to fill out to have a chance to win one of 5 steamers! I've already entered... have you?

Good Hair by Chris Rock.

I requested this movie from the library several months ago. The way the library in Indianapolis works is that there are several branches. A lot of times they won't have what you want on the shelves. You go into your account on the computer, request what you want, and they send it from another library. The central library is downtown, and while I have never been there, I am guessing that is where the main quantity of books are stored.

Anyway, I have had Good Hair on request for several months. I was somewhere around number 60 to get it. It finally was available to me yesterday. My husband and I sat down to dinner in front of the television and watched it. 
For those of you that do not know, Good Hair is a documentary that Chris Rock made. The idea was spawned by his little 3 (at the time) year old daughter. She came in the house and asked her father "Daddy, why don't I have good hair?" He was baffled at this statement.  
He then proceeded to make a documentary. He talks about relaxers, weaves, natural hair, and the African American hair industry as a whole
A lot of the information I knew already. For example, a lot of the African American hair product industry is ran by large primarily White companies. The beauty supply shops are primarily Asian owned. I knew a lot of the hair came by India. What I did not know however, is that Indian women get their hair cut off in a religious ceremony. That hair goes to the highest bidder within the hair merchants. Another fact I did not know. Some people (beauticians) dealing in weaves make as much as doctors!
What kind of impacted me the most was the high school seniors talking. They were saying how natural hair as far as afros go, do not seem professional to them. They said that if you walk into a law firm, looking for a job with a huge afro on your head, you won't be taken seriously.
That statement gave me pause. 
I consider myelf an IT professional. Since I have big chopped though, I have not had a job, I have not had an occasion to test this issue. I know for a fact though, smaller afros are considered professional, and even matronly. I have had interviews though, and some of them have gone really well. Could it be that my hair is the cause for me not getting a job?
Another thing that struck a chord in me was the little girls getting relaxers. One little girl, she was about 6 years old..maybe, talking about she's had relaxers for a long time.. and her mom gave her a texturizer once and it burnt off all her hair and so after that she started getting her relaxers professionally done. 
A dermatologist was on there talking about how she gets phone calls and visits from moms who do not know how to deal with their childs hair, and so at age 1 1/2-2 they want to give them a relaxer. Your childs hair follicles are still growing and changing. Giving them a relaxer at that age can perminately damage their hair, their follicles, everything! 
I am glad that I have had relaxers. I am glad that I am now natural. I feel like that when I have kids, and if I have a girl, I know what needs to be done to give her a healthy head of hair. I know what needs to be said to give her the confidence she will need to have in her hair. 
All in all this was an interesting documentary. It was also hilarious because Chris Rock is just silly at times. It kind of opened my husbands eyes a bit as well. 

A Special Man

For those who don't know, or are sort of blind to the picture to the right, I am Black. As a Black woman for all of my life I had relaxed hair. It's what I did, it is pretty much always what I did (except for that short time in elementary/middle school where I had a Jheri curl.. we don't talk about those days).

                                                          (I am sorry I don't have any up loaded decent shots of me natural. I will get to it I promise!)

My husband, being white, does not know much about African American hair care. Why should he? When we have kids I am sure it will be different.

However, he knows what he likes. He didn't like the fact that I never would let him touch my hair when it was relaxed. He would see women with Afros and natural hair and ask me why didn't I do that? It seemed to him it would be like less hassle and I would be running around a lot of times with my hair looking like I just got out of a windstorm.

I half listened to him because... I half listen to everyone.

My big chop came not as a statement, but as a necessity. I had my hair in micros and it just matted it all up. Ugh. I know a lot of spouses would not be supportive of their wife having natural hair. They prefer the smooth silkiness of relaxed hair. Not my husband. He couldn't be happier.

He loves touching and rubbing my hair. I think the happiest he ever was (Other than our wedding day, or when our tax return came) was when I told him that I was not going back to a relaxer.

Today is my husband's birthday. I love him a little more each and every day. I thank him for being the wonderful special man that he is. Happy Birthday Jeff, I love you!!!

To Wrap or not to Wrap, that is the question.

With relaxed hair there is a specific rule you must follow no matter what. You must wrap your hair at night. Most people know what I am talking about. You know somewhere you have that satin scarf that you delicately wrap around your head at night. I was no different.

This practice I have carried over into the natural world. It might just be me, but I feel as if my hair feels better in the morning when it has been wrapped over night. It feels like I am maintaining some moisture in it. I have asked my beautician if she wraps her hair (she has gone natural and was the one to encourage me to go natural as well) she said she does not, but her sister does. I guess the choice is up to you. So do you wrap?