Wakanda Forever: When You’re Out of Tears For Your Mom
This post contains spoilers for the movie Wakanda Forever. If you haven't seen it yet, bookmark this, get thee to a movie theater, and then come back here.
First of all, let me just say sorry for not posting as I usually do. Multiple Sclerosis is a mfer, and at the moment I'm dealing with some pretty heavy hand issues. Pain, numbness, tingling, all the good stuff. Unfortunately, this interferes with my lifelong love of writing. Writing with pen and paper is just excruciating at this point. But as yall know, I live in America, so it's going to be a hot minute before I get to see a neurologist about this.
Despite all that, I couldn't hold back on writing about Wakanda Forever. I know I may be the small minority here who wasn't quite moved at the surprise of Queen Ramonda's passing. Sure, I was moved to tears at about every other scene. But hearing Shuri cry out "Mama!" made me feel the way I did when I watched Full House in the 90s and the parents told their children they love them.
For me, much like Full House, a mother's love was just another point of fiction.
Don't get me wrong. I've cried many tears over my mother in the past. As a child, I had raging anxiety over her going to the store and not coming back. It didn't help that my mother would often tell me "One day, I'm going to die! Then what will you do?!"
I cried many times begging for my mother to believe me when I told her that others in the family have hurt me. I cried begging her to spend time with me without tuning me out. I also cried begging her to just choose me, her daughter. My mother did none of those things.
So after many attempts of begging for relationship (and tons of therapy) I went No Contact with my mother. I cried for months. I grieved what I wanted us to be. I grieved the thought of missing her funeral or missing her passing (as I feel its best not to open myself up to more abuse. My family LOVES to use funerals as an opportunity to manipulate and abuse when people are at their lowest). I cried and I cried and I went to therapy and I cried some more.
I had empathy for Shuri crying out for her mother. If i was in that moment, I knew I could comfort her. I just couldn't place a current moment in my brain where I felt the same way. The pain with my own mother went from an open, gaping wound to a dull, annoying ache over the course of 7 years.
There are many things I still deal with, I just think the tears are done for now.
Did you see Wakanda Forever? What scenes were you most moved by? Leave us a comment and let us know.