Comics and Chronic Illness: How Ava from Ant-Man and the Wasp Perfectly Described My Invisible Symptoms
Hi, I'm Quinzel. I have Multiple Sclerosis
"Hi Quinzel" my imaginary audience says "we don't believe you"
While hurtful, it's understandable. I fall under the category of people who don't look sick. It's why they call it an invisible illness.
Multiple Sclerosis, or MS as its shortened, is a snowflake disease, meaning symptoms can be different for everybody. Do we know why? No. Is there a cure? Also no.
One of the hardest things about my disease is explaining to people what it feels like daily for me. Aside from telling them that getting off my medication won't actually make me feel better and eating a bunch of oranges won't cure it, I also have the worst time trying to explain how I feel.
*some Ant-Man and the Wasp spoilers ahead*
Then I went to see Ant-Man and the Wasp. We were introduced to the character Ghost, known as Ava, who is constantly phasing in and out while experiencing a lot of pain. Long story short, the lab explosion that killed her parents didn't kill her, it just fucked her up to holy hell.
There's a symptom that I have that I can't describe in one word. But Ava's phasing shows it pretty well. It's this weird out of body experience like I'm jumping from one scene to another. It makes me feel as if I'm about to pass out.
The second is the pain. The constant pain. When you're in pain, minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days. While there is a level of pain I can deal with on a daily basis and still function, once I've passed that level, its all over.
Just like Ava, I am always in pain. Always.
So, I get it. Being so close to not being in pain everyday and you tell me we can't do the thing? Most people will never get to experience that level of desparation. It's a feeling where you will do absolutly anything to get rid of the pain. Living in constant pain robs you of the ability to have any sort of chill. Hell, it robs you of the ability to just live.
So, I get it. Do I agree with her plans? Mostly no, but I understand. To phase everyday, almost like a slow burning glitch, on top of being in pain sucks to the highest level. All you can do is wait to crawl into bed only to do it all over again.
So now that I've opened myself up to you guys, I'm curious what your lives are like. Any of you deal with a chronic illness, disability, or undiagnosed "why Lord?" level of pain? Have you seen it represented in media in an accurate way? Would you like MORE representation? Spill your thoughts in the comments section below.