NSFW REVIEW: Geekin’ Out With Geeky Sex Toys
CW: NSFW content including talks of masturbation and female anatomy. I also say the f-word because, well, I felt it was f#cking appropriate considering the subject manner
Geeky Sex Toys was kind enough to send me the toy in exchange for an honest review. In short, they were like, "masturbate with our product and talk about it openly and honestly." You can see why I couldn't turn that down.
I'm going to be straightforward for a second.
Sex is healthy. Masturbation is healthy. Neither is gross or shameful.
Now that you are fully aware of my thoughts beforehand, you'll understand how un-shy (new word, I'm calling it) I am when it comes to sex toys.
But g e e k y sex toys?? You have my complete attention.
One look around the Geeky Sex Toys site and it will have you geeking out from head to...yeah, that too. Emma and Josh, founders of Geeky Sex Toys are in Brisbane, Austraila. They create, design, and make all of their toys BY HAND.
This duo of sex toy makers are no strangers to fandoms either. With a clever use of puns, they've got lines such as Doctor Screw (Doctor Who) DickPool (Deadpool) Orgasms of the Galaxy (Guardians of the Galaxy) and The Indulgers (The Avengers)
In that first Facebook post, I showed you guys a censored version of what I got. Well, now you're gonna see it.
Ladies and Gents, I give you, the Dildek
The Dildek is, obviously, from the Doctor Screw collection. Modeled after the famous Daleks, I promise you it won't kill you. This one comes in two colors: black and gold. And it comes in 2 sizes: large and small. The one I received and pictured above is a small
Foreplay and First Impressions
Upon opening the box, I was quite impressed. Their handiwork is pretty amazing honestly!
You know how you might see a toy at a bachelorette party that seems really cool, but actually seeing it you realize its just plastic crap? With something as cool as Doctor Who, I expected it might be lacking in quality and using the fandom to make up for it
I was proven wrong right on the spot.
So now that I know that it LOOKS good, my next thought is to see how long it would stay that way. I felt like it was time to put this thing through a series of non-masturbation tests. These tests were mainly me throwing it as far as I could across the room, shaking it as hard as I could, and smacking it upside a couple different surfaces in my home.
The most awesome thing I discovered while playing around with the durability of this toy is that the bottom is actually a suction so that you can ride it, no partner needed. I tested this by slapping it on my kitchen floor and kicking it a little with my foot to see if it would stay. It did.
I also noticed with all this shaking and throwing that it did not create any tears in the silicone. Damn, this amazing grade of silicone! Damn, this amazing craftmanship! It's really hanging in there!
Now that I have hazed the shit out of it, it's time to get down to business.
Fuck and Fuckability by Quinzel Austen
(Sorry, Jane Austen)
After being quite impressed with how well it handled several stress tests (ok, I was mainly having fun) I needed to know about the Dildek's level of fuckability because...well, that's the whole reason I bought it, right?
As I stated earlier in the review the Dildek comes in two sizes, large and small. While there's no shame in having dildos that are Hulk-sized, I was a bit intimidated by a large, so I requested a small.
Now, small does not mean slim. When I saw the size of this toy, I was *still* intimidated. Like all of that needs to go in...all of me? So if you are into slimmer sex toys, lube up.
Also, if you have small hands like me, you may benefit from a small instead of a large. It was only a slight challenge to hold on to. The bumpy texture definitely assists with having a good grip, even with lube applied. However, closer to the end is a wider base, so a little difficult to get a real good grip in. But, as an alternative, there is an option to use the base on a flat surface and ride, hands-free.
Size aside, this silicone feels great. I'd say it's skin-like, but I don't know if I've ever felt skin this good. It's perfectly smooth enough to move outside and inside of a vagina that makes you kind of forget that you're masturbating with a fandom toy
Another nice thing about the Dildek is the bumpy textures. If you can get it just right, it makes great for clitoral stimulation. For me, it was easier to achieve by hand than by riding, since the bumps are closer to the bottom of the base.
The biggest challenge with the Dildek? Trying to stop making Doctor Who references during sex, but maybe you do this anyway *guilty*
Would I Recommend?
The quality of this toy is beyond impressive. It's durable, flexible, and downright cute.
I will level with you and tell you that Geeky Sex Toys will cost you a pretty penny, but they are so worth the money.
10/10 would recommend you save up your coin and buy from them
10/10 would cum again 😉
Have any of you bought anything from Geeky Sex Toys? What did you think? Does this review make you want to buy from them? Have any questions for me? Drop a comment below and I'll answer!