The Children of the Corn-Stu

The Children of the Corn (2009)

Directed by Donald P Borchers

Starring some creepy kids and two horrible adult actors

In a small town in Nebraska, the children rule the land. Adults are evil and they need to be eliminated. An annoying married couple decides to go on a second honeymoon to try to save there verbally abusive marriage. For some reason, driving on the interstate is too easy. They are driving on roads that no one should. Apparently getting to California fast is not in their plans. Instead, why not have your horrible wife scream at you for longer. Well, they hit a kid with the car, and I know what you are thinking, Comedy? No! this kid was already severely injured. But why, when, how, who(cares) ? They go into town and a bunch of creepy kids start doing the Lord’s work. Which if you open up your Bibles, is clearly to kill everyone over 19 to make the crops grow. So sacrifice the annoying couple.

I don’t know why this movie was remade. The first one was definitely not this annoying. The best parts are when the guy hits his wife(you would too) and when the woman is eliminated. The creepy kid sex is disturbing and the kids are not that scary. Watch the original and you will not be that impressed, watch the remake and you have wasted an hour and a half of your life.

½ bloody hand print