It takes me a while to rally in the mornings, I’ll admit it. This morning was no exception. I should back up a bit though. Last night, and pretty much all day yesterday, I had pain in my left eyelid. I had a feeling a stye was coming through. I immediately canceled that thought, because I haven’t had a style since I was a freshmen in high school. Yeah…
I woke up this morning (at 7:50, about an hour earlier than I normally do) with more pain when I blinked. My husband was telling me goodbye when I asked him to look at my eye.
“Yeah, you got a stye coming it, and it is pretty swollen.”
Since I was up, I figured I would hop in the shower and get ready for my day, which I did. But I am still pretty groggy. I throw on a maxi dress and run to the drug store. I had a script I needed to pick up.
It’s early, I’m not quite all there. I know I look slightly crazy. I shuffle into the pharmacy when behind me I hear:
“Hey ‘lil mama, what it do?”
I am no one’s mother, little or otherwise, and I turn around to look at the guy. If it is possible to look crazier than I look right now he does it. Cut off shorts, dirty shirt, raggedy braids in his hair. I give him the evil (stye) eye, and move on. As I am walking I notice a mirror and noticed that my dress is sort of tucked under my strapless bra. So, I am looking crazy as hell, have a stye, and it is early as hell, and you are trying to holler at me!? DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY STANDARDS!?
Oh well, at least my hair looks decent.
Glasses are on because I don’t want you to see my stye. Plus, I do have on clothes, It is a strapless maxi dress from Old Navy last season.
From the time I was in the 5th grade, up until the end of high school, I was a social pariah. I was awkward, weird, and just plain odd. In two short years I went from a smiling bright happy girl, to a miserable angry person. I stayed that miserable angry person for many many years. My choices in clothes, in music, and in pretty much everything reflected what was popular. Well, as much as it could. We were poor.
Around the end of high school, like my last semester, it was as if someone cleared a film from my vision. I realized that I would no longer see these people every day. I cared nothing about them, and they cared nothing about me. That was the God’s honest truth, with the exception of a few people. I was done. I was free. I could be whoever and whatever I wanted to be.
Turns out being me isn’t anything fancy. I am a girly girl. I am smart, crafty, and nerdy. I am stylish. I have a wicked temper and a kind heart. If I am livid at you, I just won’t talk to you anymore. You have been deemed no longer worth my time.
All in all I think I turned out pretty good. I am confident and self aware. Sometimes though, it takes one comment to take me back down to where I was when I was younger. Usually it is from a ‘loved one trying to help.’
So I am sitting here, sad, pissed off, and hurt, by someone who is supposed to love me most. I’m sure I will be over it in a day or so, but for now, I am just going to sulk and be emo.
I've got nuthin today guys. I am tired, I had a final I think I bombed because I made an idiot mistake, and I am anxious because I have two more finals to take. I hope you guys are having a better week than I am.
Ever since the birthday that wasn't I have been taking time out to do things for me. I usually make excuses though. I am at the end of the semester, and with five classes on my plate (one at a different school), I have to keep up. I hadn't done much to my hair in a while though, and so.. it was time. A couple of nights ago I pre-pooed my hair with coconut oil and walked around with that god awful processing cap on my head. You guys have no idea how much I hate that thing.
I worse it until it was time for bed. I then went to shower and co-washed my hair and detangled with the wide toothed shower comb. I got out the shower and combed through it again using a double toothed comb and moisturized my hair using Belle Butters matcha green tea butter. I threw my hair into 5 thick twists, put my bonnet on and hit the hay. The next morning, I did some homework, and watched "The Secret Life of the American Teenager. A little off subject, but do you watch this? Maybe I am getting old, but none of the guys are handsome. Ricky has a pompadour, and Ben is gawky. Jack is okay but he is a manwhore, and the one that Grace is seeing is wonky eyed. I am however in love with Adrian's eyebrows. They are shapely and well defined, and I am jealous.
When I first started going natural, it didn't seem to me like a lifestyle change. Yeah, no more relaxers, but that was pretty much about it for me. However, it has kind of turned into a new world of opportunities. I learned how to fix my hair, on my own. I can't really do anything fancy to it, but I can go out and be proud of what I did to it. When I was relaxed, that just wasn't happening. It would be wrapped and stay wrapped until I was ready to go somewhere. Three quick comb-throughs later and VOILA! Ready to go. Now? I am learning how to do two strand flat twists, I know how to do twist outs and braid outs and style them. I actually know how to care for my hair!
Some people take this journey and take it a step further. They revamp their whole life. They take care to what they put in their body. They start to ask hard and serious questions about things in their life. Their whole outlook on food, hair, body, self turns to a whole "natural" mindset.
Some people go what I like to call "Bat Shit Cray Cray" They eschew ANYTHING that isn't natural and attempt to shame people into doing the same. They carry a holier than thou attitude towards life, and put holier than thou church people to shame. They hiss at people who flat iron their hair and "dare" (insert sarcasm) to call themselves natural. The people make me want to blink and eat a Big Mac in front of them. They are the natural world's version of a hipster.
No matter who you are, why you went natural, and how you have taken on this definition, we all share one thing. We saw something we didn't like, and we made a change. In making this change, a lot of times, you make discoveries about yourself. This is what natural hair has taught me.
As I get older, I realize more and more, that I live a fairly unhealthy lifestyle. I love junk food. LOVE IT. A few years ago I had a slight addiction to McDonald's. The addiction is pretty much gone, however I do go their once in a while. I just like loads of unhealthy things. I don't smoke, but I do have the occasional cocktail. Very occasional. Like maybe once a year. Not much of a drinker.
I want to have kids eventually, and I want to teach them to love, care, and respect every aspect of their life. How can I do that when I am not doing the same? I am working on it though. I am planing veggies that I intend on using in recipes, I am losing weight, and my gym membership to the YMCA reinstates in May.
Maybe it is just a step at a time for some of us. For me the first step was natural hair. Maybe this is my second, tentative step.
With all of that seriousness out the way, here is your music recommendation for today. I had a meeting at school yesterday to discuss an independent study class that I want to do. After I left, I grabbed some lunch and while driving home this song came on. Loving it!
I saw her on Glee at one point, and I didn't really know who she was. I still really don't. I think she got her start on YouTube. Here is a vid with the lyrics of the song!
You guys have a great day. I have some news coming up and a poll for you to take in regards to the news!
The YMCA Indianapolis was holding a contest on Facebook. Winner received tickets to the Indianapolis home show. I won. I get excited about simple things like that, so I made my husband take a pic of me. It turned out pretty good and my hair was adorable!
I want to attempt some cute styles, and I realized something.. I do not own any gel! What gel do you use for your hair? where do you purchase it?
Hello From Wisconsin!
While I said I did not have the time to write a blog, honestly, with all the time it took to process this video on youtube, I could have probably written a blog. Any way, here it is, in all of its glory. Please comment, rate, or review or all of the above!
I hope everyone had a better holiday season than I did. Christmas ended up being okay, as I did not get sick until a day or two after Christmas. I was a hot mess. Eventually that cleared up, and I thought I was okay. Not so much. Right now I am still battling a wicked cold and the weirdest sore throat I have ever had in my life. During the day it is very mild. I keep having to clear my throat, no big right? Well around 5 pm, my right tonsil starts to swell, and it is incredibly painful. i have to pop two ibuprofin and suck on a couple of popsicles. Nuts!
You know how you get sick, and then shortly after taking a shower, you feel as if you can take on the world? That was me yesterday.
In another twist, yesterday was Natural Hair day on twitter. I found this on CharyJay's (Shrink Grow and Learn) Facebook page. I thought it was interesting. The girl had a point.
Alright, I have to get dressed, get the dogs out, and get my desk cleaned up. I have one more week before school starts. and I want my desk cleared up so I have some place to actually work. LOL. Oh! So, my natural hair anniversary was some time in November. I had been working on a video, but I needed to set up my camera to capture the last part. I couldn't get the angle right with my little camera. I finally am going to have a working webcam with a mic here soon, so I will be able to finish that up (two months late).