Join Leslie and Quinzel as they lament over Covid and how they are attempting to laugh their way through. Also tales of the lonely nerds from high school. Spoiler Alert: They definitely were not getting laid.
Send us a hello:
Geeky Girls' Night In
PO Box 90232 Indianapolis, In. 46290
Special thanks to Michelle and Beth for contributing to our Ko-Fi! If you would like to throw a dollar or two this way to keep the lights on (and the hosting going), consider donating to the Ko-fi. Ko-fi.com/geekygirlsni
"Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all" -Vincent Van Gough (I think?)
Also Infinity on High is the name of a Fall Out Boy album, but I digress.
Everything around us is in ruins. Everyone around us is no longer here. It hurts.
And I believe that in the midst of the ruin, the fire, and the smoke, when I look up, I see stars.
And when I see stars, peeking through, shimmering in the darkness, I know things will get better. I know eventually I will be pulled out of the darkness to be fully embraced by a shimmering, loving light
Oh my god. This episode is long y'all. As long as the road on Supernatural.
Kim and I come together to discuss the ending of Supernatural. While we do talk about it, it also devolves into talks of our past, Aaron Carter, Lance Bass, and K-Pop. I hope you will join us.
Send us a hello:
Geeky Girls' Night In
PO Box 90232 Indianapolis, In. 46290
Special thanks to Michelle and Beth for contributing to our Ko-Fi! If you would like to throw a dollar or two this way to keep the lights on (and the hosting going), consider donating to the Ko-fi. Ko-fi.com/geekygirlsni
You haven't seen me write as much. Well, in these times of COVID 19, movie reviews are non-existent and, to be fair, my emotions have been all over the place.
I don't say this to get you to feel sorry for me. I say this because I imagine you're a lot like me. While taking the current pandemic seriously and doing your part to slow the spread, you've watched comic book conventions, movies, and many other things that you love get canceled. And at the time I'm writing this, we really don't have a way to gauge when, or even if, things go back to normal.
I had come to terms that since things didn't slow down by the end of summer, that the holidays wouldn't look the way that they have in the past.
But what has transpired is feeling like I live in two different worlds, one where COVID-19 does exist, and another where people carry on like it never existed in the first place.
While that's another post entirely, I've made some executive decisions regarding how I do the holidays this year and one thing was for certain, Mall Santa was out.
Living in the times of COVID-19 means constantly asking yourself, "is it worth it?" for every interaction and move you make. Pandemic or not, Santa is always busy. Even if you social distance from him, there's not quite a way to social distance when standing in line for hours.
As cautious as I am, I still miss the magic of Christmas. I miss the Christmas Parades, the Breakfast with Santa, all of it. That's why I am so glad that Zoom Santa is a thing.
Zoom was already gaining popularity well before the pandemic, but its popularity has since skyrocketed. We've found a way to communicate with one another while remaining distant. Life goes on, people say, but we do things a little differently so someone's life can continue.
That's the cool thing about Zoom Santa. while you aren't physically able to sit on Santa's lap, it gives kiddos a chance to have one-on-one time with Santa, which I think makes it a more personalized experience.
There are other people doing Zoom Santa, but Billie Taylor, a school teacher, really stood out to me. He cares about his community and wanted to give back. I was able to get him to sit down and interview with me about what gave him the idea to become Zoom Santa. Keep reading as I get to know a little bit more about this awesome Zoom Santa.
Quinzel Lee: What gave you the idea to do Zoom Santa?
Billie:"Well, 2020 has been kind of a strange year to say the least. With Covid-19 having a huge impact on the way we carry out our daily lives these days, and the need for social distancing, it hit me that there might be a lot of people that would normally take their kids to go see Santa that will choose not to do that in order to stay away from large crowds. Times have also been tough for many of us financially, so this idea seemed like a way to both make a little money for my family and bring Santa to people who want to avoid large crowds."
Quinzel: What is one of your favorite childhood memories of Santa?
Billie: "One of my favorite childhood memories about Santa is about how my Grandpa would dress up as Santa every Christmas and come to our house with gifts and candy. It was so exciting to have the “actual” big man himself in my own house! This only worked for a few years though, because at a certain point I realized that Santa was actually my Grandpa. Knowing that he was my Grandpa didn’t make it any less special to me though. I was still excited when he would come over as Santa on Christmas eve, even when I knew it was my Grandpa playing Santa."
Quinzel: What Christmas movie do you think portrays Santa in the best way?
Billie:"I love so many Christmas movies, but my favorite portrayal of Santa is in The Santa Clause movies. In this movie, you see a regular guy, hard-pressed by life, through a series of events transform from this selfish guy, into Santa Claus, full of Christmas love and magic. I know it is kind of cheesy, but it shows us that anyone can be Santa, and in fact, we are all Santa. If we allow love, compassion, kindness, and the spirit of giving to come into our own hearts, in a way we all transform into Santa."
Quinzel: What does your family think about you playing Santa?
Billie: "They love it! My younger kids still believe in Santa, so they are excited that Daddy is being one of Santa’s helpers. One thing about me is that I am a huge nerd who loves to go to comic conventions, and cosplay as some of my favorite characters. For the past eight months, there have been no comic conventions due to Covid-19, and I have been extremely missing that part of my life. My wife made the comment to me that being Santa is my opportunity to cosplay during these strange unprecedented times, and she is happy for me to get that out of this as well."
Quinzel: Last question. If Santa could bring you anything you wanted, what would you want and why?
Billie:"I could easily go for the “all the feels” answer and say that I would wish for all of the political tension to end in our country, or for there to be an end to Covid-19, but how about I go nerdy with this question. If Santa could bring me anything I wanted for Christmas, I would love to have a PS5 with the Spider-Man Miles Morales game! In the past 15 years, I have only purchased one video game console. My kids are no longer babies, and I just wrapped up my Master's Degree, so it would be fun to have this game to fill some time! And I absolutely love Miles Morales Spider-Man, so the thought of web-slinging through New York as him sounds like a good time!"
If you are as inspired by this story as I am, you should definitely book a session with Zoom Santa. The awesome thing is that it's not only super personal, a memory your kids will never forget, but very affordable too. For some good old-fashioned Christmas fun, check out Zoom Santa's Facebook page where there are daily posts of all things Christmas.
First off I need to apologize for the audio quality. I don't know what was going on here, but it will be fixed for next time.
Welcome back y'all. I've missed you. I now have an adult child and possibly a beard. In that order. I've fallen in love and I want to take you on the journey with me. So sit back, relax and have a listen.
Leslie is on GoodReads under mrsckugs Gaming: twitch.tv/andewyn
Special thanks to Michelle for contributing to our Ko-Fi! If you would like to throw a dollar or two this way to keep the lights on (and the hosting going), consider donating to the Ko-fi. Ko-fi.com/geekygirlsni
There is only one picture to this chapter. Enjoy! If you are interested It is at Archive of Our Own and Wattpad. Because of mature content, you will need an account to read it on Archive of Our Own. Here are the links:
I am going to start the entry out by saying I rarely use the N word. Like ever. However, I am pretty sure I uttered it 10 times in two minutes and 58 seconds.
If you are like me, you have already preordered their newest comback album which is set to release next month. This video was part of a scheduled release. I watched it and because I get confused with time travel, I have some questions. Here we go.
Why is there always crime and time travel?
Where the hell are we in the space time continuum?
Why is Shownu so damn fine?
This isn't a question, but Joohoney's voice hits in the beginning
Why did that man let Changkyun snatch up his paper? If a grown man came to me and snatched my news paper, we'd be fighting.
Judging by the hair in 90% of this clip, most of this is pre Fantasia. Like, they stole keys to get to the fantasy world? Or is this after Fantasia, they lived out their fantasy and everything went to shit after? Are they just trying to get back to happiness?
Minhyuk would risk it all for Joohoney and you cannot tell me a single word different.
My dudes, where did y'all find flip phones?
Also, where the hell did you find a pay phone!?
Why is Joohoney either always trying to 'Hack the Gibson' (If you don't understand that, you may be young) or thieving shit? Which goes back to my first bullet point.
It looked like when he twirled the key ring on his finger that he only took one set of keys, but he gave Shownu one, and he gave Hyungwon one. I don't know anything anymore.
So this is where I stand on it. I've watched it three times today, and will probably watch it again when I have a moment. What did you get from the video? Are you looking forward to Fatal Love? Also did you realize immediately that on the preview of Fatal Love, that is Minhyuk's mouth? If we realized it instantly, does that mean we have a problem?
Hey you. I'm writing a fan fiction. A Kpop fan fiction. A Black girl Kpop fan fiction. You will periodically see posts like this that show the picture collages that I have made. I'll also put the first chapter here.
In the heart of downtown Indianapolis lies the Stutz building. An old car company was once headquartered there. Today, numerous businesses reside there, including EK Dance.
The E in EK, Elyse Jones has been going viral on YouTube for dance tutorials and dances she does to different styles of music. From Hip hop, interpretive, and even ballet, her follower count has been steadily rising over the years. She’s on speed dial for multiple artists to consult as a choreographer. At the age of 23 she has competed in several world wide competitions and has placed 1st in multiple categories. She just won ‘Best Dancer’ at the 2016 Shorty awards. That is how Monsta X has come to be in the Stutz building. Not much is known about her private life. For all that she lives in front of the camera, she has managed to keep her life a mystery. People knows she has a twin sister, but not much else. The more people try to pry into her life, the harder it is to get information. In her spare time, Elyse has a Twitch channel where she plays different styles of games and interacts with her followers. Earlier in the year, she signed a lucrative contract with Starship Entertainment to work with Monsta X on new choreography for their 2017 album. The group has never worked with a women choreographer. Shownu, the leader, usually takes point on their choreography, and is slightly perturbed that he will not be giving input on this particular album.
As they walk into the part of the building that holds her office. They are greeted by a receptionist with a perky ponytail.
“Good morning, welcome to EK studios. You must be Monsta X,” she glanced behind the 7 men and her eyes widened as she saw a whole crew of people. “Oh dear, I am not sure Elyse was expecting….an entourage.”
The young woman stood up and smiled. “You are a bit early and her afternoon class is just finishing up. You can sit out here or there is a door,” she pointed to a door off to the side of her desk, that houses a two way mirror. “You won’t really learn anything, it is her kinder class, but you can get a look at her and what she’s teaching.”
Wonho and Shownu got up to go see this mysterious teacher while the ones staying behind were offered refreshments.
As part of their coming to the US, Monsta X’s management team wanted to get a fresh perspective on choreography. While K-Pop groups have traveled to the states before, they wanted the very best for this group of boys. They were a gold mine, they just had to invest properly.
In the room sat a couch and a couple of chairs, all framing a floor to ceiling window. Wonho plopped on the couch while Shownu stood and stared through the glass. They saw a woman, lithe and short; her dark brown locs were piled into a messy bun on top of her head. Her sepia skin glowed with sweat as she walked through 12 small bodies, correcting their ballet forms when needed. All of a sudden classical music began to play. “1 and 2 and 3,” the woman counted down. All of a sudden the bodies started to move in sync, performing basic ballet moves.
Shownu snorted “What is she going to teach us that we haven’t already learned. She’s a child's instructor.”
“Eh, give her a chance,” said Wonho. “You’ve seen the girl for 30 seconds.”
Shownu sat on the couch with Wonho and watched as the pre-schoolers went through their poses.
“Alright, we are done for the day! We have time for one more silly dance! What is it going to be?” The girl looked at her students expectantly.
A shriek rang out across the room “BIEEBERRRRRR!!!!” one of the little girls came running up to her teacher. The teacher laughed as she put the song on. “Every week guys, we gotta try something different for next week, okay?
Everyone agreed as the song started up. “HIT YOUR POSES!” The woman hollered.
All of a sudden 12 little girls struck poses similar to the video and began to dance as best as they could. In the back of the classroom off to the side the teacher began to do the actual dances from the “Sorry” music video.
“Would you look at that ,” Wonho breathed. The woman hit every single beat drop as the little girls danced madly around her. As the song ended they all came together for a group hug.
“Who are we?!” the instructor shouted.
“The Dancing Lilies!” came the reply
“Why do we dance?”
“Because we love it!”
“Who do we dance for!?”
“Alright guys. I will see you next week, okay? Class is dismissed and no running in the halls, other groups could be practicing.” The girls walked out to their waiting parents.
The teacher squinted in the corner and looked straight into the mirror. “I don’t know if there are parents in there, but I just dismissed class for the day, you can come out.” She called.
She sat down on the floor with a pair of slippers and began to remove her ballet shoes and the mass of padding wound around her toes. Wonho and Shownu looked at each other baffled.
“They told us she couldn’t see us through the mirror?” Shownu said. Wonho shrugged and headed to the door opposite of where they came in.
“Hello!” he said cheerfully. The girl turned around startled at hearing a male voice.
“Oh hey! You guys must be my new group! I am Elyse,” She stared behind Shownu. “I was told there were 7?”
“Oh the rest of them are up front waiting,” said Wonho. “I’ll go get them.”
Elyse smiled “Please take your time. I have to change.” Wonho smiled and left the room and left Shownu behind. “If you’ll excuse me, I won’t be but a second.” She said to him.
Shownu stared at her like he’d never seen another woman before. He’d seen some of her videos but hadn’t paid much attention. Elyse was incredibly short. She had dark brown almond shaped eyes and a tiny rose gold stud in her wide nose. She had a slight smile on her full lips and when she talked he could see a gap in her front teeth. Shownu nodded curtly and sat in a corner and began to stretch. Elyse shrugged and grabbed her bag.
Walking into the bathroom, she tied her hair up a bit tighter as she felt it falling during her kinder practice. Shedding her ballet shoes, leotard and tights, she donned black leggings and a black sports bra. Over the sports bra was a simple white oversized racerback tank. She tied it in the back, took a deep breath and stared into the mirror. She finally had her shot. Teach these boys, earn the check, and possibly get the recognition as a dancer. She’d no longer have to program. She could focus on the things she loved. At the rate she was going, she should have had people knocking down her door. Even though she had the accolades and awards, some still felt she didn’t fit. Too brown, too short, too much.
“Here goes nothing,” she breathed into the mirror.
She walked back to the room which was an absolute zoo. The 7 group members were going through simple dancer stretches. There were handlers and helpers for the handlers. There were cameramen and cords everywhere. The noise level was 100.
“AYYYY,” Elyse hollered. “If you are not a dancer and do not plan on working on choreography, there is a room off to the side of this one. Please go there.”
Protests in both English and Korean went up. Since she could not speak Korean she turned to the English protests first.
“I understand they have a camera in their face 24/7. I get that you want shots of them learning, and we can get that for you by and by, but we are just meeting. This room is small, and I don’t want the distractions. If I had known you were bringing everyone and their mama, I would have reserved the larger room. I’ll make it a point from now on.”
She then turned to the Korean protests. “Mia, can you come here please?”
A Korean woman came over and stood by Elyse. Though not much taller than Elyse, their height differential made it seem like she was towering over the young dancer. Mia answered the call Elyse put out for a Korean translator a few months ago. She quickly became friends with both Elyse and her sister. Another surprising benefit for the sisters was Mia’s mother, who was the sweetest woman any of them had met.
“Thank you sweets. Can you translate for me?”
The loudest man started going off at a rapid clip. Once he was done Mia turned to Elyse “You want the word for word, or the gist of what he’s saying?”
“Gist please, we ain’t got time for all that.” One of the boys snickered at what she said. She looked back and smiled. Mia went on.
“He said it isn’t proper for you to be in here with just them.”
“For the love of…” Elyse rolled her eyes. “Mia, translate exactly what I am going to say, I want to make it clear.”
Mia smirked. She had been hired roughly 3 months ago. Elyse thought it best that they get to know one another and that she fully understood her cadence, how she spoke, and her snark. Elyse looked at the balding man who was concerned for somebody’s virtue. Whose, she had no clue. She cleared her throat. “This is a dance studio, not a prostitution ring. I signed a non-fraternization contract. The clause in that states that I have to give back all the money and I can and will be blacklisted in the K-Pop dance community if I am found acting in an inappropriate manner with anyone in the group. In this studio, while working with me, what I say goes. There’s not going to be a gangbang anytime soon.” At the term gangbang the man turned a sickly shade of puce. Elyse heard soft cackles from the 7 stretching.
“If you are concerned for...their virtue, my virtue, whoever’s virtue, that room I just sent everyone to? Is behind that mirror. You can see us, we can’t see you.” She then turned her back to him because she was done with him. Though he cut her check, she wasn’t there to cater to his whims.
She looked at the seven men she was supposed to be working with; they were stretching haphazardly and the one that had stared at her earlier was not doing his calf muscles justice with the stretch. He was also looking at her confused.
“Hi. I am Elyse. I don’t know what you know about me, so I will run down the basics that make me qualified to be here. Most people think I was chosen because of my viral videos and my awards, but that’s what made people take notice,” Elyse spoke at a quick clip. She knew Mia knew this speech and could translate it in her sleep. “The foundation of all of that? I hold a Masters degree in Dance Performance. I also hold a Bachelors in Computer Science. I’ll be your instructor.
Elyse looks to see if everyone is understanding. She glances back at the exec. He’s calmed down and listening carefully to the speech being given. Before we get your introductions out of the way, do you have any questions for me? I apologize, I do not speak Korean. I just have a smattering of French to get me by, but Mia here is my right hand woman. I know most of you speak or write some English. If it makes you uncomfortable, I have no qualms learning basic phrases in Korean.
Elyse started fidgeting with her hands. She wasn’t one for talking or giving speeches, so this was wearing on her slightly. This studio is mine. I own it outright with my sister Kristina, the ‘K’ in EK dance. I am the boss. I run a great studio. We work hard, and we have fun.” She smiled at Mia. “All of my employees are offered free dance classes. If we aren’t running something they want to see, I push them to create it for themselves.” Elyse paused for a moment and looked at the guys.
7 pairs of eyes were staring at her. She continued on “You gentlemen are a special case. You aren’t my employees, but your management is paying an assload of money. With that, you have open privileges to the studio. Any class you want to do a walk in on, feel free. There is a schedule out front with every class we offer. There are only two classes you aren’t allowed in,” Elyse cleared her throat “The pole dancing class, and my kids dance class that I taught before you guys came in. If you are interested in pole dancing, we can set up a class for you, but we typically don’t get a lot of men that are serious about it, so I stopped offering it to them.” She walked over and grabbed her tablet from her bag in the corner of the floor. “I know that is a lot of information in a short amount of time, but I have the information in file folders for each of you. It’s in English and Korean. Do you have any questions up front?”
The starer raised his hand “Go ahead,” Elyse said while smiling. He said something in Korean, which made Elyse turn to Mia. She was struggling not to laugh.The rest of the gentlemen had lost what sense they had and were dying laughing. Starer was looking around completely confused at everyone. Mia cleared her throat. “He asked, ‘what is a gangbang and why won’t we be doing one?’”
The only noise Elyse made was a slight snorting in her throat. “Um. I don’t need a translator for this one sweets.” Mia stepped back smirking. Ignoring everyone else in the room Elyse walked forward to Starer. She stood between his legs and looked down at him and smiled. She made a circle with one hand and moved her pointer finger in and out of it with her other. His eyes widened. She then proceeded to shove three more fingers in the circle rapidly.
“Mia, can you make sure he understands what I’m getting at?” Elyse stated, not taking her eyes off of him. Mia spoke to him and he nodded rapidly. The tips of his ears were bright red. Hyungwon stared at her
“She’s gonna be fun,” he muttered in Korean.
“I’d like to know each of your names, and how you would rate yourself at dancing. What do you recognize needing work?” Elyse said. She held a tablet in her hands, taking notes. Shownu went first.
“I am Shownu,” he stated in Korean. I am the primary choreographer for our group and I think I dance just fine.”
Once Mia translated, Elyse arched a brow. “Everyone has something they can work on. You find you are great at everything?”
“Yes” Shownu said defiantly.
“Okay, well, we will come back to that. Next?” They went down the list. Wonho, Jooheon, Hyungwon, Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Changkyun. Each of them had things they wanted to work on. Except Shownu. Time for her to explain some things.
“I am a big believer in always improving. I have been dancing since I was 14. I am a rare one in the fact that I have gotten so far so fast,” she hesitated for a second and looked at them.
“Black people have a saying; work twice as hard for half the reward,” she explained. “I don’t like half the reward, so I work 4 times as hard. I don’t expect anyone to keep up with me, but there is always something I can work on. My flexibility is my big thing.”
She glanced at Shownu. “I saw you stretching out earlier. Is that how you always do it?” Shownu nodded. Elyse pointed at his calf. “The second you try to use that muscle it is going to scream. You aren’t stretching it properly so that is where we are going to start today.” With that, Elyse sat on the ground and put everyone through their paces, stretching every single muscle.
“I put together a dvd of stretches you guys can practice when you have time.” Elyse attempted to hand the DVD to Shownu specifically. He refused to take it and was pouting. She rolled her eyes and handed it to Hyungwon.
“We are all new to each other and I thought tomorrow we’d take the time to analyze your dancing and see where we can add new things or enhance old ones. As part of my Masters project, I developed dance suits. You will see something similar used in video game making to enable them to CGI the movements. I also designed the program they are used in. I’m pretty proud of it,” she smiled again. “In order for you to wear them, I need you guys to make sure you wear boxer shorts tomorrow.” Elyse looked straight down at her tablet when she said this.
“That is all I have for today. I’m going to give you two hours of your time back today. It won’t always be like this, but you’ve just got here, I know you have to be jet lagged. In the DVD case is my contact information, so if you need anything I am a text away.”
“Does anyone have any questions, thoughts, or concerns?” One of the gentlemen raised his hand. “I haven’t learned names yet, so can you tell me your name before you ask your question?” Elyse nodded at the hand raiser. He spoke rapidly in Korean while looking at her. She smiled and turned to Mia.
“His name is Wonho and he just wanted to know if your sister will be working with you,” Mia translated.
“Ah, my sister is more of a namesake for the place,” Elyse explained. “She does teach some classes at a lower experience level, but it’s very infrequently and only when I am in a pinch. She is more focused on art. Watercolor painting mostly. If you look in that file folder I gave each one of you, the art gallery she frequently shows at is in there, and I believe she has some pieces there now if you’re interested.”
“Another thing I wanted to mention is meals,” Elyse said. “We’ll probably do an hour lunch and a couple of 15 minute breaks during the day. That is subject to change if more is needed. In that folder is a list of restaurants in the downtown area. I have listed a ton, but have also had a map drawn, so you can see what is in proximity to you and the studio.” She paused. “I know we live in the world of google maps, and things like that, but they make mistakes. UberEats also delivers to the building. The whole time Mia is translating for Elyse. Once she pauses in her translating, Elyse gives her arm a squeeze in thanks.
“Do you live around here as well? I’m Changkyun, or you can call me IM.” He said in English.
“Good question, and no I do not,” said Elyse, “though I live in Indianapolis, I wanted to try and be by some type of water if I could. So I live about 30 minutes northeast in a neighborhood called Geist. There is a reservoir there and the back of my house is on it.” Elyse paused a bit to allow both Mia to catch up as well as wait for any other questions. “Nothing else?” she asked. Shownu mumbled something in Korean. Elyse glanced at Mia, and Mia shook her head.
“Alright then, I will see you tomorrow bright and early.” As Elyse started walking away she mumbled quickly to Mia, “Walk slower, he’s going to say some shit.”
If you didn’t watch carefully you wouldn’t have even seen Elyse pause to give the order. She continued to walk and pick up her belongings including a helmet. Once she exited the room Shownu let loose.
“WHAT KIND OF SHIT WAS THAT!? Stretching!? No wonder she’s teaching kids, that’s all she’s good for. Masters my ass. HOW DARE SHE!?”
The other boys of Monsta X were trying to calm him down. All of them were shocked, as Shownu doesn’t have a temper at all. He never reacts to anything unless food was involved and never in front of someone who could understand what he was saying. Mia crept out of the room before he could realize she was still there. She didn’t really care if he saw her, what would he do? It would just be less awkward to have a confrontation so early. She caught up to Elyse downstairs as she was carefully adjusting her equipment on her bike and gave her the abbreviated version of what she heard.
“I don’t know about that one Mia. I’m not used to bumping heads with people.” said Elyse.
Mia smiled “You’re a sweet girl, and he doesn’t seem like he’s used to taking orders from anyone, much less a girl. You’ll get this. I have confidence in you.” Elyse grinned back at her, her gap showing through.
“Thank you, you’re sweet. You want a ride home? I have an extra helmet I keep in the building.”
Mia shook her head “You won’t get me on that death trap!”
“Aww, you’ll hurt her feelings talking that way.” Elyse teased.
As she tied the rest of her stuff down and took her hair down to get her helmet on, the boys walked out of the studio. They watched her put her helmet on and gather her hair behind her.
“She’s cute,” Jooheon said in Korean. “I don’t think she’s going to take your shit Shownu. You might want to calm down before we see her tomorrow.”
“I’m not scared or concerned about her.” sneered Shownu. They all stared after her as she drove off.
So yes. This is the first chapter. I hope you enjoy. If you want to see the rest of the story (chapter 6 is being posted today), you can go to https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130949/chapters/63570670.
You will need an account to read as there is some explicit content.
There isn't much that can knock me off my feet during these pandemic times. I've battled the news of COVID-19, murder hornets, and even the death of Glee star Naya Rivera. I haven't written a post since last year, because at best, I have been coping with all of this. Not always in the best of ways either. If I wasn't working, I was sleeping, engrossed in Animal Crossing, or gorging myself with fast food
It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I said to myself that this has got to stop. I started eating healthier, going on walks, and embracing what is now the new normal. I was dealing with the pandemic and coping beautifully.
Last night, when a family member sent me a message asking me if I knew Chadwick Boseman died, I felt all that work I did in embracing this new normal come crashing down. I searched for any sources that might prove this to be a wild hoax. I cried myself to sleep. And woke up to this horrible nightmare.
One of my first posts on this blog was about how Black Panther helped me with my Post Partum Depression. Seeing the movie gave me hope that maybe things weren't all bad. And that was a milestone that helped get me through my first year as a mom.
What's even more devastating to me is that Chadwick and I had more in common than I thought. We both dealt with chronic illnesses. While Multiple Sclerosis is not fatal, there is a lot of treatment, a lot of hospital stays, and a lot of sitting and waiting on test results.
I've very open about having MS, but I haven't always been. I've had the luxury of having control over who knows and who doesn't. And I don't have people who I've never met knowing about my health status.
Keeping your chronic illness secret can be a form of self care. Your energy goes towards your own treatement and test results without having the added stress of explaining your illness to healthy people. There's no faked sympathy, there's no prying or asking for what should be private information, and there's no need to comfort others with the posibility of your own death.
In a weird way, as much as the news of his death hurts me to my core, there is an old tired saying about how now he isn't suffering. If you've ever been sick before, imagine a life with out the beeping of hospital monitors, clumsy nurses who can't find your vein, and dealing with the narly side effects of yet another new perscription. There is peace in that he gets a break from all of this.
But that silver lining is as thin as a needle. I sit at my desk wrapped in my Black Panther fleece blanket hoping for some form of comfort. I'm hoping for a way that 2020 can suck less.
And hoping I did all I could to celebrate Black Panther while Chadwick was still with us.
Do you have any memories of Black Panther of Chadwick Boseman that you want to share? Drop a comment below and let's heal together.