Genre: Horror

Director: Mikael Håfström

Screenplay: Matt Greenberg, Scott Alexander, and Larry Karaszewski based on the short story by Stephen King

Starring: John Cusak and Samuel L. Jackson

Mike Enslin has made a career of going to famous haunted places and debunking their paranormal attributes. He gets a strange opportunity to check out the infamous room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel. This being a major step in his career, he immediately agrees. What he finds in room 1408, may actually be true and terrifying.

I really enjoyed this film. I am a huge fan of John Cusak, so I was going to watch it no matter what. I was not disappointed. The fear generated in this film is more psychological and easier to believe as audience and possibly be frightened by, so in easier words, bigger creep factor. These films are always driven by the story, and the better the story, the better the movie. This film certainly held up.

Since this film mostly focuses around one character and his experiences, the merit of the actor has to be high. John Cusak is a wonderful actor that could easily handle the weight of this film. The man could probably do a one man show, and I could sit there completely enthralled. Why he has yet to win an Oscar is a mystery to me. The writing alone in the movie is enough to watch, but to have Cusak drive, who wouldn’t want to take that trip.

I give this film 3 Buttery Kernals.

Coming Soon: Sleepy Hallow

Genre: Horror/Comedy

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Screenplay: Robert Rodriguez

Starring: Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Mary Shelton, Jeff Fahey, Naveen Andrews, and Bruce Willis

When bio-weapon is released into the air of a small town, infection spreads turning the people and dead into mutant zombies hungry for flesh. Only a small group of survivors are left to take on the hoard coming to eat them. They can only hope to survive long enough to make it out of town.

So this film is a parody, a bloody and ridiculous parody, but that’s the point. The film is filled with bloody gore upon bloody gore, but in a ridiculous manner that is supposed to make you laugh. It is all in the fun of making you uncomfortable and then asking you to believe that what you’re seeing could be somewhat real. Okay, so maybe turning a missing appendage into a lethal weapon is a little hard to swallow.

There is also a kind of finesse with how the effects of the film make it feel as if it is something from the seventies. The look of the film, the music, and even some of the editing are blended together to give this appearance. It also adds to the ridiculousness, considering many films of that time had the campy humor to it.

If you’re not into laughing at this kind of grotesque blood and gore, then I don’t recommend this one for you.

I give this film 3 Buttery Kernals.

Coming Soon: 1408

The Strangers

Directed by Bryan Bertino

Starring Liv Tyler(Aerosmith’s daughter) Scott Speedman(Underworlds)

A couple spends time together at the family cabin. They have just left a wedding and he thought that he would ask her to marry him. She said no. So they decided to spend time together alone at a cabin. So alone out in the middle nowhere, they are tortured by three crazy psycho killers.

This movie was a pretty good. It is based on a true story and the killers are in awesome masks.

3 bloody hand prints

The Children

Directed by Tom Shankland

Starring some crazy Brits

Two couples get together for the Holidays. The kids and the parents enjoy spending time with family, with the exception of the teenage rebel and the sick kid. They share stories, laughs, and everything is like a British Norman Rockwell painting. They then discover that the sick kid may have more than just the flu. As the hours go by, things become scary. The children turn into evil murderous demons. Will the adults survive?

This story has it all. Teenage angst. Vomiting children. Sledding injuries. Even sexual tension between an underage goth and her uncle. It is British, but that is all it has going for it. The kids aren’t even creepy, which is what you would ask for in a creepy kid movie.

I give this 1 bloody hand print

White Noise

Directed by Geoffrey Sax

Starring Michael Keaton(Batman, Multiplicity), Debra Kara Unger(Silent Hill, Crash(the old one), Chandra West(not much), and Ian McNiece( Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls)

Keaton plays a Architect who loses his wife in a tragedy. He then is stricken with grief that he cannot shake. He then is approached by a man who informs him that he may be able to speak with his wife---from beyond the grave. He then becomes obsessed with seeking his wife and helping others, through the use of EVP(electronic voice phenomenon). The EVP’s help lead him into a world of evil from beyond and trying to help a missing person.

This movie is actually kinda cool. Watching all the ghost shows, I am very familiar with the use of EVP. It is kind of a creepy concept and it is worth a look if you have the time. It goes a little too far, but what do you expect for a horror movie.

I give this one 3 ½ bloody hand prints

Psycho (1998)

Directed by Gus Van Sant

Starring TONS of actors you know. Vince Vaughn(Wedding Crashers) , Anne Heche(Ellen Degenerous) , Julianne Moore(Boogie Nights), Viggo Mortensen(Lord of the Rings) etc.

A young woman decides to hideout at a motel run by a Youngman and his mother. She ends up dead and the race is on to find her killer. Twists and turns take you through this story of murder, mystery, and mommy-issues.

I actually saw this movie in the theatres. Brandon’s mom dropped us off at the old Kokomo Mall theatre. I have not seen this movie since then. I don’t remember a lot about it other than it wasn’t very good. I do, however, remember that we sat with Brad, Brad, and Ashley.

I give this 2 bloody hand prints (b/c I saw it in the theatre)

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Directed by Alexandre Aja

Starring Vinessa Shaw(Cork Romano), Emille de Ravin(Lost), Aaron Stanford(X Men), and Kathleen Quinlan(Event Horizon)

A family drives through the remote portions of New Mexico. The drive into a section that was used for atomic bomb testing. Their car breaks down(shocking) and the camp in the van for the night. They then begin to hear noises and see things in the night. A race of mutant people begin to attack them and try to make off with their things, their lives, and their virginity.

This had decent build up, bad acting, and some creepy looking mutants. The whole mutant rape scene of a teenage girl was disturbing. This is a remake, and is not very good.

1 bloody hand print

The Wicker Man(2006)

Directed by Neil LaBute

Starring Nicholas Coppola(National Treasure), Ellen Burstyn(Requiem for a Dream), and Leelee Sobieski( The Glass House)

A cop is contacted by his former fiancé. Guess what? You have a child. Guess what else? She is missing. Guess what else else? She may have been kidnapped by a crazy old bat that runs a hippy/feminist island. Guess what else else else? I’m lying.

This movie was awful. I do not like Nic Cage. He is terrible. He has been in about 600 movies and has been good in two of them. This is also a remake.

I give this ½ bloody hand print

The Children of the Corn (2009)

Directed by Donald P Borchers

Starring some creepy kids and two horrible adult actors

In a small town in Nebraska, the children rule the land. Adults are evil and they need to be eliminated. An annoying married couple decides to go on a second honeymoon to try to save there verbally abusive marriage. For some reason, driving on the interstate is too easy. They are driving on roads that no one should. Apparently getting to California fast is not in their plans. Instead, why not have your horrible wife scream at you for longer. Well, they hit a kid with the car, and I know what you are thinking, Comedy? No! this kid was already severely injured. But why, when, how, who(cares) ? They go into town and a bunch of creepy kids start doing the Lord’s work. Which if you open up your Bibles, is clearly to kill everyone over 19 to make the crops grow. So sacrifice the annoying couple.

I don’t know why this movie was remade. The first one was definitely not this annoying. The best parts are when the guy hits his wife(you would too) and when the woman is eliminated. The creepy kid sex is disturbing and the kids are not that scary. Watch the original and you will not be that impressed, watch the remake and you have wasted an hour and a half of your life.

½ bloody hand print

The Uninvited (2009)

Directed by Thomas and Charles Guard

Starring Elizabeth Banks(Slither, Scrubs, Apatow movies), Emily Browning(Lemony Snicket‘s, Ned Kelly), Arielle Kebbel(John Tucker Must Die), and David Strathairn(lots of stuff)

Anna is in a mental institution. Her mother died in a tragic fire and she attempted suicide. Her doctor thinks it is time she goes home and faces her past. She returns home to find that her father is dating her mother’s nurse. Along with her sister, Anna attempts to find out if her mother’s death was an accident. They begin to notice that many strange things are happening, such as dead children, boyfriends, and mothers visiting them. The pieces come together and they reveal that dad’s girlfriend is a murderer, but wait there is a twist…..

A who-done-it/ horror that makes everyone in audience yawn. No real thrills just the typical loud bangs to make jumpy people, well, jump. This movie is uneventful, as far as entertainment. It is probably better to rent a movie that is acclaimed.

I’ve seen this damn thing twice, so you don’t have to.

I give this ½ bloody hand print